Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Needing a Word, Needing The Word

Sorry if this is too personal, but this is my journal (despite being public).

Let me quickly tell about a little marital conflict we had a few days ago.

I got to sleep in a little, since Ricky was working from home and Grandma was watching the kids. I woke up and called for Ricky to come and get me up and shower me. Grandma offered to bring me breakfast in bed, but I chose to wait until after I showered, since I was expecting Ricky to come for me any moment.

Well, I had that any-minute-expectancy for over an hour and a half. Just lying there. Really hungry.

So, when Ricky came for me and announced that he did not have time to shower me... yeah, I was disappointed (there may or may not have been some hot tears and harsh words spoken). [Because if I had known that fact when I woke, my mom could have gotten me out of bed, and I would have eaten sooner. But now, I felt like all that waiting and hungering was for nothing, and a shower would have at least somewhat made the wait worthwhile in my eyes.]

After our little interaction, these words come to me...
"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit,"  ~ Romans 14:17
"I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." ~ Philippians 4:12
Where was my righteousness, peace and joy in the Spirit? I was focusing on eating and drinking, but I want to be about the kingdom of God!

I was not being content in my hunger, drawing my strength from Christ. I was miserable and discontent, wallowing in self-pity.

Yep. I blew that opportunity to grow in grace. [More tears follow this realization.]

Well, the point to all this is -- memorizing Scripture rocks.

Because I have hidden the Words of Life in my heart and mind, the Holy Spirit has tools-at-hand to use on me. He can quickly bring verses to my mind to cut me, challenge me, change me, comfort me, and convict me of my wrongdoing, bad heart, selfish motive, sinful attitude, rationalization...

Memorizing Scripture means He can always preach to me when I need it. Like this instance.
How sweet are Your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! ~ Psalm 119:103