I will be posting updates as I can on the blog as well as adding them to this page.
[Pre-healing journey timeline (2016-19), not detailed like the one below]
July 2019-August 2021: Come to learn, receive and agree with the truth about healing and all of Scripture in its entirety (!!!); begin renewing my mind to the truth that I am already healed (just need to work out my salvation from my spirit into my flesh); all the while storing up questions (for two years!) [This is the mental assent of the Truth. Old Covenant mindset versus New Covenant mindset]
December 2020: Watch the live action film of Mulan and am deeply struck by a specific scene where Mulan and her comrades come face-to-face with the enemy forces. Mulan's team turns around and flees the opposite direction, and the enemy turns around and rides their own way. Mulan hesitates and then hotly pursues the enemy by herself. And I knew. I had to stop waiting… waiting to be healed, to be set free, for someone to lay their hands on me and presto… I had to stop waiting for Jesus to do what He had already done! He already purchased my healing and freedom and defeated the enemy. I needed to take a stand and take action! Even if that meant going after the enemy alone (thankfully I’m not alone!) to inform him that I am no longer deceived, I know who I am, I know what I have, I know that he is a defeated foe, and I am here to enforce and take back what he’s stolen! Not really sure of what to do, I tucked this away in my heart to ponder.
September-October 2021: Gain mentor (who worked out her own healing) and begin asking my questions (who’s kind and patient enough to answer me and not give up on me); I begin to encounter several others who also chose (or are choosing) to work out their healing (1 Peter 2:24).
October 28: begin an “action plan” to enforce the healing I already have and Jesus already did and gave
November-December 2021: The Enemy exponentially ramps up and intensifies the spiritual attacks (so we know that I must be on the right track to make him start lashing out like a trapped raccoon and trying to get me to give up) [Detailed list: family witnessed and can verify]
January 2022: Progress begins! (I had reached a new physical low, after the last two months)
Transferred from the chair to the couch holding onto one hand
This past fall and winter, while seasonal illnesses went through the family, things to which Aidan has been susceptible in the past, she showed strength. She was the least affected adult from covid. And in the last bad viral cough, the kids got it bad, I got it a little, but she didn’t get it at all—even while eating sugar.
1/7 I turned over by myself twice during the night
Stopped taking Advil
1/11 Two advances- Voice texting has improved and my right foot is turning outward less
1/12 I slept 6 hours straight last night! Sleeping well and waking much less often ever since.
1/13 Naturally needing both of the drugs less often throughout the day
1/18-19 Kids got stomach bug and Ricky felt his body fighting it, but I never got it! (This has happened three times now! I use to get every sickness the kids got.)
1/20 I did 50 sit-ups in the wheelchair before lunch today! 10 at night before bed (I couldn’t do any the night before.)
1/21 53 sit-ups this morning
1/22 55; This past week, I've halfed the daytime amount of one of the drugs I currently take, have been able to stay up later and don't need to drink coffee everyday (the Enemy is losing his hold)
1/23 I get in the recliner for over four hours without twitching (unheard of), no twitching or drugs all day or before bed, nerves in legs begin vibrating nonstop that evening but not twitching so I don’t take the drugs (I have been taking them on an as needed basis this month). My legs start twitching some after lying down but not violently like normal just like muscle memory, so I take half of the normal of drugs after a couple hours in order to fall asleep. (THE SPIRIT OF AFFLICTION HAS GONE!!!! After 4.5 years of horrible torture!)
1/24 60; took less of both prescription drugs last night; able to wiggle toes a bit on left foot; trying to figure out what is happening and friend confirms that the affliction is indeed gone and body is adjusting (received Word while in prayer for me this morning without any contact with me); legs still vibrating and shaky nerves like a drug addict going through withdrawals. I tell Ricky about this.
1/25 70 sit-ups this morning; 2/3 of each drug last night and again tonight and none during the day
1/26 I tell my mentor, older kids and mom about the spirit of affliction fleeing; and, develop game plan for moving forward
1/27 74 sit-ups this morning; 2/3 of each drug last night and again tonight and none during the day
1/28 81; 1/2 of each drug again tonight and none during the day
1/29 82 crunches; 1/2 of each drug again tonight and none during the day; make “before" video and begin to publicize my healing journey to select individuals
1/30 1/3-1/2 of each drug again tonight and none during the day; research exercises for me to begin getting stronger so body can obey my commands
1/31 Drugs are down to 1/5&1/3 of the original amounts, only take at night (might be able to wean body off faster but going down at a medium speed since nerves in legs still vibrate during the day); begin practicing some exercises
2/1 Develop exercise plan
2/3 Wake after two hours with restless legs and rise soon after to fight (new and separate attack to cause fear); flees and legs calm that afternoon and sleep that night; refused to take drug during the day and "silence" the Enemy when he must leave!; body is beginning to obey a few of my commands; right leg locks up less often; and, three toes on right foot move just a smidge!
2/5-7 Attempt to go off drugs completely and sleeplessness and pain return (trying to wean too fast)
2/8-10 Slowly return to previous amount of drugs at night and none during the day; my core and arms are stronger from doing my current exercise plan twice a day; found a PT who does home visits and begin next week
2/13 Make milestone calendar (goals of what I hope to accomplish for each month)
2/14 PT assessment; falling over less often; spine is spinning more; knees try to lift a little on command (!); lifting up with arms and not twisting and falling over; right leg is lengthening some
2/16 Voice text is improving (1/3 correct)
2/22 Spiritual attack this morning. Took five hours of combat before fleeing- left me physically weak and exhausted and achy. A week of discouragement and feeling like I have lost most improvements before now.
*I know the enemy is feeding me lies that I’m not moving forward but getting worse in order to create fear and get me to give up. So, I press in and on, knowing that the way to advance in the natural is to first take ground in the spiritual.
*I am being cautious about who I tell about my healing journey right now because I want to bless small beginnings and protect myself from doubts or hesitancies or wrong theology.
2/24 Able to twist spine more; PT impressed with standing (with his help) and wants to reorder my goals. Sit on the edge of the bed by myself for two minutes! Stretching and exercising twice a day.
2/28 Lifting knees higher on command; horizontal marching has improved in speed and strength (just after several days); my breasts are evening out (spine curving less?); only one small bowel accident the past month (usually 4-6x/month)
*God has done the impossible (dealt with and removed the enemy). I fully believe that. So I put my faith into action and do the possible. (Hebrews 11:1, being sure and certain is taking action, NOT just waiting for God to do what He’s already done.)
*I have been living the I CAN'T and I DON'T lifestyle for over 20 years, so it's deep in me. That thinking has to be uprooted and go! My nerves have been degenerating a long time. Now, we wake them up (as Jesus did Lazarus) and turn the Titanic around, not quick or easy
3/3 PT pleased with progress; feeling stronger overall (trying to watch every word I speak to avoid giving Satan any footholds and my body permission to not be in perfect health [align with God’s Word])
3/6 Haven’t had a long-lasting spiritual attack in two weeks (yay!); leg relaxes on my command better; Some PT stretches and exercises are improving (Thigh clapping has improved; Able to bend forearm at wrist now; Can do the hand sliding sit-ups much more easily; Fingertip touches are more accurate; Able to lift ring finger on left hand off of table; Able to slide thumbs towards index finger without bending)
3/9 Handwriting is becoming more legible and I am able to sign my name again (it’s been about a year); handwriting progress in pictures
3/11 God has been giving and unveiling a vision for me, slowly over the last month. I think it'd be helpful to see it in pictures in addition to just writing it down with words. I have recruited a friend to draw it for me. So when the drawings are done, I’ll share both the pictures and the vision: HERE
3/14 Sat on bededge for 2&1/2 minutes (was 2)
3/20 Sat on bededge for 3&1/3 minutes (was 2.5); held breath for 35s (compared to 30s just days ago!)
3/22 Received an image-vision of me as a warrior wearing armor and forcefully advancing and moving forward behind my shield, extinguishing fiery darts (I got this one painted by my friend: HERE)
3/26 Able to bend left ankle up (could only point toes); unbuttoned my jean jacket; after falling over while sitting on toilet, able to push self off of the wall and restabilize
3/28 Able to write small enough to fit words on one line! handwriting progress in pictures
3/30 Ricky and I both notice that my trunk is stronger and more stabilized when doing normal stuff
3/31 Received an image-vision (this one was like a comic strip) is with only three scenes —
- A beautiful, strong two-story house surrounded by a dead lawn (dirt and patches of yellow-brown grass) that was filled with some tents and a bunch of junk (it looked gross).
- Me sticking my head out of a second-story window facing the backyard and yelling.
- Green grass begins growing and shooting out of the house and moving into the yard as I was shouting.
- The house is my spirit (built up by my faith on a firm foundation). The lawn is my body, which the enemy was illegally trespassing on and having a heyday in.
- The yard was vacant, so I must have already done my duty as a child of God and arrested and evicted the enemy. Since I was not commanding the enemy, I must have been decreeing truth and speaking to the lawn, my body.
- New life was growing and moving out into my body!
4/5 A little depression came, but I combatted it with the Word/Truth, and it left after half an hour (versus half a day!)
4/6 Held breath for 40s (was 35s)
4/8-4/18 Travel by car (trip) — Not much stretching or exercising or routine or quiet time when we travel 😔 (We drive somewhere new almost everyday!) I refused to increase the drug amounts despite experiencing much leg pain in car. Trunk stability improvement remained as I was less wobbly on different toilets.
4/21 PT today said that I regressed some, but what I see or feel doesn’t matter as the Truth remains (that I am healed by His stripe!); Able to slow and control the hand sliding sit-ups much better!
4/24 Yesterday I felt really strong in every way, and then last night was tough (pain, leg locking up, soreness) with it continuing for a couple hours after rising (compared to 2/3/22). We fought and it fled, but it was different. Although I felt the pain (and pain SUCKS), I was able to disconnect myself from it. It didn’t lead to panic, but I could easily remain steadfast as I fought (like a pillar in the water— not moved by the wind or the waves, pain or current limitations). [“I don’t care what I see or feel, I AM HEALED. It’s my birthright, and I am in blood covenant with the King!”] Pins and needles right now. Expectancy is rushing through me, but not the waiting kind. I know that it takes faith and action together for healing both to come and to stay.
4/25 Able to lift knees just enough for them to get themselves off of the footstool (without me having to lift them up with my arms or slide/force them off)
4/28 Held breath for 45s (was 40s); thigh-clapping speed has increased
5/1 A 6-hr intense attack that continued off and on for 13 more hours! One of the worst. Keep wondering when the enemy is going to give up. I know that he is just hanging on, trying to outlast me and hoping that I’ll give up first. (I am certain, determined, expectant and hopeful because my confidence is His faithfulness.)
5/3 Kids begin fighting off a sinus infection and I don’t get sick (with anything anymore!)
5/4 After traveling five days ago (bed at 3a) and the attack the next day, my body just now feels back to normal
5/5 I begin to pray in tongues every spare moment (that I’m not needed or around non-family) to hone my listening skills and gain more insight
5/6 Holy Spirit begins to reveal and expound and teach and help me a lot!! Although my physical body is showing minute visible changes, I realize that I am still experiencing much (spiritual) growth
*70% of the healed lose their healing because they aren’t prepared to fight the enemy when he attacks again and don’t know how to keep the healing should it return. So, I am thankful that I am learning how to stand firm now and, thus, be able to retain my complete, physical healing.
*I realize that I talk a lot about attacks and fighting and battles. I know I can rest in Him (and I do!) because He has already conquered and defeated the enemy! His Word is settled and it is done. Period. I’m simply enforcing this truth and my freedom here on earth. (Believers have the right and responsibility to bring and release the Kingdom of God on earth.) It is hard, but it is simple.
5/7 Transfer to theater seat (versus remaining in the wheelchair for 3+ hours) for the first time in years
5/8 Pushing self up in wheelchair to full extent of arms; When I lean forward, my legs can put themselves up on the footstool; Stabilizing trunk off of backrest has improved slightly; Punching accuracy has improved slightly
5/9 Didn’t have to wake Ricky up for help the previous two nights and I didn’t wake up in a lot of pain; however, I did last night. But this is still noteworthy for me!
5/14 6-hr exhausting attack
5/15 Forcibly reduce secondary drug by 1/2 the amount
5/16 Both ankles noticeably bend up and down on command (exciting!); necessary for walking
5/17 Another long attack
5/19 And yet another (so sore had to cancel PT today for the first time)
5/22 Completely stop taking the muscle relaxant drug
5/24 Another long attack (worn); tell two friends situation with drug and pain and attacks
5/25 Get more muscle relaxant but don’t take it (I got it to use as needed, not wanting to take it on a regular basis)
5/25-6/6 No more long-lasting attacks and no muscle relaxant! Only one drug now.
*When physical pain first shows, I must deal with it right away and not tolerate it because if I do, then I am agreeing with it, which both allows it to continue and gives the Enemy a foothold to use the pain for his evil purposes. But if I attack it right when it comes (I have an attack pain plan), it stops. (“Also I see pain as one of the enemies wiles to try to get us out of the Spirit and into the flesh, his territory.” -Josie, a friend)
5/26 PT said progress continues (still doing exercise plan daily)
5/29 Able to briefly hold self up by legs and ease down in wheelchair (legs getting stronger!)
5/30 Zero sleep last night. Worst attack I’ve ever had (20 hours). I know it’s because I publicized no more attacks- typical enemy strategy. So hard to fight when tired in bed, which is when it began. I took 3x the muscle relaxant of what I used to take to no effect!
5/31 Propped self up on elbows in bed once this morning (from lying on back position)
*I am not trying to get healed; I already am healed.
I am not trying to defeat the Enemy; he’s already defeated.
I am not trying to gain the victory; I already have the victory!
I AM ENFORCING.
*Like a policeman- he has all authority and every right to kick out enemies, stop illegal activity, and arrest criminals. But, he has take action (do something and use it!) for anything to happen. Having the authority doesn’t do any good unless he uses it. He must enforce!!
6/4 Body is sore in the hip/ab/back/core area from the muscles growing there (this past week); able to look around on stair-lift chair while it moves and not fall over or be fearful of loosing balance and toppling (haven’t done that in several years!)
6/6 I begin to take the previous amount of muscle relaxant again at night for several reasons— sleeping 4 hours each night was wearing, waking up in pain and rising to combat it to prevent the enemy from getting a foothold and attack me still took an hour every morning, but mainly because my vigor in fighting/enforcing was not as strong throughout the day (so I think that I will do it [wean off drug] again once my body gets a little stronger.) Of course there’s the temptation to feel defeated, but that’s a lie from the enemy because the Word tells me I am the victor! So, I take captive that lying thought and destroy it with Truth!
6/8 Make some adjustments/clarifications with PT regarding exercises and expectations concerning time
6/9 My faith and confidence are soaring- yay!! Beginning to notice and reject the innumerable lies that the enemy feeds me all day long- phew!
6/11 My legs can put themselves up on the footstool WITHOUT leaning forward (see 5/8), just gripping wheels in upright position
6/13 Haven’t had any bowel accidents in several months
6/16 Able to peel my own bananas; beginning to consistently buckle the seatbelt in the wheelchair myself
*I am learning why the Bible says so much about needing to persevere in the faith, persist in believing and doing the Word, not giving up, staying and standing strong, being confident and unwavering and immovable—having grit. The only way to lose is to quit!
6/18-20 Put on my blog [I did not know when to publicly share this. I thought that I would wait until the changes become noticeable or undeniable (just to avoid skepticism, doubts, questions, and… pressure! I don’t want to feel the pressure to perform and get results and get my focus off of Abba! And I currently don’t have any extra time to respond to emails, even if I wanted to reply). I opted to go ahead and divulge what has been happening with me, because I want others to glorify God with me for the advances and see this miracle unfold 🥰👏🏼🙌🏼 ]
6/24-7/9 Travel by car (trip) — Not much stretching or exercising or routine or quiet time when we travel but attempting to be more intentional about it! [I experienced progress this trip, compared to the one in April!]
6/26 Both of my ankles are bending up and down without my quad interfering and me having to hold my calf down to keep my knee bent about half the time (beginning to isolate muscles)
6/30 I have had no attacks in a month— YAY!! I have had pain every day, but I attack it right away, so the enemy doesn’t get in. The pain flees 5-30 minutes after I begin addressing it and refuse to tolerate it!
7/1 The kids and the four people we stayed with this past week all got a short-lived stomach bug (vomiting/diarrhea), but Ricky and I didn’t
7/2 I used to need to warm up my calves and feet before bed every single night in order to fall asleep, but that has been necessary less and less over the past six months. And now, it’s only necessary about once every week or two! (Increased blood flow?!)
7/4 Buckled the seatbelt in the car for the first time in years; can now consistently do my four different arm/torso stretches without being locked under a table (to prevent me from falling forward)
7/6 I used to be really hot-natured (liked it in the 60s at night in order to sleep and sweated very easily) and always kept it cool in our house all day long, but I now get cold at those same temperatures and can tolerate it much warmer (without sweating and for sleeping!); better blood flow?!
7/7 Met with a woman who had a similar muscular dystrophy as I had and worked out her full healing over two years about a decade ago (heard about her last summer)
7/9 Able to twist spine using one arm to help pull (versus two)
7/10 My love for God (Abba, Jesus, Holy Spirit) only keeps increasing every day! This tops every good result and brings me ever-increasing, constant joy that doesn’t change depending on feeling or circumstance!
*Watering the soil (feeding the seeds/harvest with truth) causes both the grass and weeds to grow. The grass grows steady and the weeds shoot up. The more you are feeding on truth, the easier it becomes to separate the grass from the weeds and pull up the lies! The truth doesn’t get rid of the lies but makes them stand out, so they’re easier for YOU to pull out… not His job, but our own work. (God doesn’t renew our minds for us! See Romans 12:1-2, Wuest translation)
7/13 Begin alternating legs when marching in wheelchair
7/14 PT says that I didn’t regress this time (after a trip); turning head to the right and left without falling over while sitting on bededge
7/15 Although my handwriting doesn’t look vastly different from May and June (because it’s so loopy and swirly; that’s how it’s always been!), I’m able to connect 3-4 letters at a time versus two (cursive)!
7/16 Able to unbuckle seatbelt in car
7/18 I began to feel horrible pain inside the lower left part of my back (tender and excruciating to touch, nothing visible, did not feel like a sore or strained muscle) two days ago. After just two days of attacking it and blasting it with Truth, it’s completely gone!!
7/19 Able to pull core back to center when torso sways a little to the right or left; Able to ease torso down from upright position to lying on knees, instead of flopping down, for crunches
7/20 I weighed for the first time in eight months and lost over 20 pounds, which is irrelevant but still makes me happy
*Most of my physical improvements thus far are only noticeable to me, while most of the changes have been internal work (which of course makes sense and is necessary). When you have been plagued by a chronic illness that you live with every moment of every day, the sickness becomes part of your identity— you live sick, you think sick, you are sick through and through… So, the first step has been to destroy all effects of sickness on my soul (mind, emotions, will). [Similar to how bamboo grows— sprouting some the first few years and getting set up before shooting up exponentially.]
7/23 I got no sleep last night (exhausted!!) and my legs twitched all day. Despite that, I never felt under attack. I did fight most of the day to keep my guard up and not give the enemy an inroad to turn the exhaustion into affliction or torture. It was an unusual experience for me, but I think it’s significant.
7/24 Cleaning ears less (once every 3-4 months now instead of monthly); I can do kegels now (I’ve been trying to for years but could only squeeze my butt); My scalp has stopped itching (after eight years!)
7/29 Right leg has been locking up less and less the past couple months and rarely does so now
7/30 My legs are twitching less overall (both during the day and at night)
*Jesus said believe that you have received and it will be yours (Mk 11:24, receive—>believe—>see/feel), not receive—>see/feel—>believe (carnal way of thinking; have to physically experience something using the five senses). Jesus encountered this over and over during His ministry— you get what you can believe for!
7/31 No attacks in two months now!
8/4 I slept longer than normal, only woke once each of the past two nights briefly to turn over, and didn’t wake in any pain!!
8/7 I use to have 2-3 mouth sores (on the inside) everyday, and now it’s only one every few days!
8/8 I begin reducing one drug by a quarter the amount
8/11 Sleep has definitely improved, waking much less and tossing/turning much less and waking in much less pain
8/13 Legs are helping to push body up in wheelchair
*When you speak or declare truth and nothing seems to happen right away, here’s what you don’t do. You don’t think or say in your heart,”Oh, nothing happened,” which is only heaping dirt on that seed just planted, making it take longer to surface. You just revealed unbelief (double-mindedness).. AND, you certainly don’t reinterpret Scripture to make it line up with your experience (thinking that since the Word is true and I need to protect its validity, I need to figure out what it must have really meant.) I did this every time I was prayed for over twenty years. Not realizing that some things take time, like when Jesus cursed the fig tree. It didn’t shrivel up right away but took a day to die (although, it probably stopped getting nutrients right when Jesus spoke). God set up the law of sowing and reaping. Normally, you don’t plant a seed one day and expect to see the harvest the next day (and exclaim, “Oh, it didn’t work!")
8/19 For over a week, my left ear felt great inner pain (I could not touch anywhere near it or sleep on that side of my body, and it had begun shooting down my face into my jaw, making it hard to chew). I just kept resisting, attacking, and refusing to accept it. I didn’t care what it was, it had to leave this temple! I wasn’t going to tolerate it. After getting worse, it suddenly got better yesterday and is completely gone today - hallelujah!
9/15 PT noticed that I have more muscular control and looser hips; remember I both side rests on wheelchair (for trunk stability) to further strengthen the muscles in my sides — “The disassembly of the wheelchair begins!”
*As He is, so am I (1 John 4:17)! Resurrected to new life! I am more than a conqueror, an overcomer, triumphant and victorious! It is written!!
8/20 Bladder strength is measurably improving; Twitching in legs has noticeably reduced (nerves in entire body are strengthening)
*I was recently thinking about all of my physical improvements and reading through this timeline, and I was so encouraged! While the visible improvements are debatable by skeptics as to their cause or origin, the plethora of inner ones is remarkable and unexplainable (I have not increased or added new pharmaceutical or vitamins, nor have I altered my diet, nor have I added on any new therapies or anything). I will list (recap) some of them:
- Scalp stopped itching
- Ear wax has decreased a lot
- Mouth sores have mostly stopped appearing
- I can sleep on others’ pillows
- I don’t get sick (I used to get every single thing the kids got!)
- Bladder and bowel strength have both improved
- The marble-sized lump on my back right love handle has disappeared
- No indigestion, acid reflux, or upset stomach ever
- No more demonic attacks
- Reduced daily pharmaceutical drug dosage of both prescriptions (now taking 1/5&1/3 of the original daily amounts)
- Both legs have stopped locking up in the hip (really painful)
- Body temperature regulating and blood circulation (and color) have improved; I rarely sweat now
- Legs are twitching much less
- Sleep is getting better
While I notice them all and Ricky recognizes several, I look forward to when outsiders can see what’s happening. I don’t want to judge the state of things with my eyes or feelings (carnally), yet I can’t help but be super excited for the imminent future!
9/1-4 Ricky and I, along with the two bigger kids, attend a church conference a few hours from here in the mountains of North Carolina. Within a day and a half, several things happen to our family making it apparent that Satan was attempting to keep me from the conference. I was under intense spiritual attack on the middle day (terrible UTI and uncontrollable urinating, chills and convulsions, vomiting and unable to eat, had a hard time even sitting up or opening eyes). I received much intercession and deliverance that evening. Despite feeling exhausted and depleted, my legs felt fine and didn’t twitch like they usually did at this point. So, I didn’t take either drug. I slept without taking them for the first time since I started using them over five years ago!! I was back to 100% Sunday (actually, WAY better!)
9/6 Flush remaining drugs — I am NOT going back! Unlike the 1/23 experience when the spirit of affliction had fled and I didn’t take any drugs at first but ended up taking a little bit in the middle of the night because my legs were vibrating, I know what’s going on this time (whereas it took me a couple days to figure out what was happening back in January). Not only do I know what happened, but I also now know how to resist the Enemy and how to stand firm in the freedom of Jesus (Galatians 5:1) which I was not prepared to do before.
*In thinking about why I hadn’t given up by now… While there are many things I could mention, it came down to Truth. You have to get to the point when you realize that pain does not determine whether you are healed or not. Only His Word is Truth and Reality. What you see and feel may be fact for now (facts change, truths don’t). If you can persist in believing and clinging to truth despite what you see and feel, what is true in the spiritual will (and must) come into the natural and physical realm!
*A right understanding of our triune being is foundational to bodily healing (and all growth!) I’ll try to put it in a nutshell. We are spirit, soul (mind, emotions, will), and body. When we are saved and become new creations, it’s our spirits that are made new, complete, and perfect! Not our bodies (we still look and likely feel the same) and not our souls (we usually still have the same habits, thoughts, and memories, leading us to wrongly believe that we still have the sin nature). It is our job to tell our souls to shut up, take a backseat, and learn to constantly submit to the spirit! The spirit realm must become the dominant realm we function in. This is why we must be in the Word all the time, renewing and retraining our minds to Truth! Now, the body is neutral (like money or computers or the internet). It will follow the path that it’s already on and do what it’s told. If your new spirit is telling the body one thing and your soul another, then your body is going to keep on its current course (double-mindedness), but if you can renew your mind and bring your soul into submission, then it’s two against one (spirit and soul unite and agree) the body must listen (this may take time for it to change course). Majority wins! One more thing. When we are saved, we receive God’s Holy Spirit into our spirit, but we can let Him out into our whole triune being through faith (and the Baptism of the Holy Spirit). He can help our souls (revealing mysteries, sharing wisdom, and quickening the Logos to us, leading us to act on that specific Word, so it can become Rhema) and our bodies (rest, rejuvenation, strengthening, healing) — Hallelujah!
9/9 It’s been a whole week of freedom from drugs! Although my sleep is not as restful as I would like for it to be yet and my legs vibrate some during the day, I would become suicidal whenever I went over 72 hours without drugs in the past. I have tried three times over the last five years. (For all those who are skeptical, this is huge!)
9/10 I began to notice that my legs were helping my arms lift up my body in the wheelchair about a month ago, and suddenly I noticed that my legs were doing the majority of the work just using my arms more for motivation and guidance in pushing my body up :)
9/12 My right leg hasn’t locked up in over a month!
9/13 My ears had always been allergic to the metal in earrings. I had to massage them with Vaseline every night if I wanted to wear earrings the following day (and it didn’t always work). But, I haven’t had to use any Vaseline in over a month, and no allergic reactions :)
*For over 20 years, I would boast that I didn’t really fear anything… except pain and torture. Looking back over the past year, I realize that I was reaping what I had sown!
9/16 I got a massage today (from the lady who gave me one back in February). Half way through, she comments to Ricky, “She is so much better! Do you know why??" Music to my ears. Glory to God!
*I have NO cares (1 Peter 5:7)
NO worries (Matthew 6:25)
NO fears (1 John 4:18)
NO needs (Philippians 4:19)
& NO wants (Psalm 23:1)!
I have NO lack (Psalm 34:10)
for God has given me
EVERYTHING (Romans 8:32, 2 Peter 1:3)!
9/25 I wrote a blog post looking back and recognizing the importance of taking action in all parts of salvation.
9/28 Meet a Brazilian woman who was instantaneously healed of an extremely rare and serious, genetic, neurological disease earlier this year and is still being progressively healed (incredible story)
10/3 I have not taken any drugs in a month! There has been struggle this past month; I don’t feel free to write about it yet as it continues and I refuse to give the enemy any footholds using my words! Still learning how to keep the ground I’ve taken back!
*Saying something that isn't yet visible in the physical might look like a lie, but to say something that's a fact in the physical realm but not true in the spiritual is the real lie.
10/9 Ricky and I both realize that Holy Spirit has been sharing foreknowledge with us!
10/14-27 Embark on first road-trip without prescription drugs and make it two weeks without legs twitching much in the car; nerves in legs feel stronger
10/15 No more seatbelt in wheelchair!
*My confidence first began when I had become convinced that this was Truth and I wasn’t going to budge, yet I was hesitant that I would be able to get rid of all unbelief and therefore access my healing in the physical realm. Even though I was sure physical healing was accomplished at the whipping post, I was constantly unsure if changes were really happening in my body. Despite doubting myself, I moved forward because Truth must be acted on. Then, my confidence shifted slightly. I knew that if I could persevere in believing and doing my routine, His faithfulness to His Word and promise would bring it to pass. But a couple months ago, my confidence shifted again. The more buddy-buddy I become with Holy Spirit and the closer we grow and unite, the more I can distinguish His voice and see His intimate involvement in me. Holy Spirit really is my Helper! I don’t have to worry about possible unbelief lurking somewhere or hoping that I can persevere and not grow weary, I can trust Him to help me (not to do it for me but to reveal, strengthen, and fill in the gaps)!
11/14 I was praying and when I thought about moving to Dallas, I was suddenly overwhelmed by God’s love. Surprised, I opened my eyes and the navy blue wall decal in front of me started glowing hot pink — beautiful! (It’s of 1 John 4:18, Perfect love casts out fear.)
11/16 Move left ankle even while sitting up more
11/17 My first out-of-town car ride where my legs didn’t twitch at all! (I sorta knew this was coming because my legs twitched very little in the car during our last trip to Dallas a few weeks ago.)
11/18 I don’t know when this happened exactly, but I suddenly realized that I was no longer waking up in lots of pain! I had been all year, but it must have lessening over the past month or two.
11/20 Whenever I nap now, my legs remain calm!
11/21 The muscles in my sides are finally growing and helping me stay upright more and fall over sideways less
11/24 Regarding our move Dallas in a couple weeks, it seriously has been almost unbelievable how everything (down to the littlest detail!) has worked out perfectly and quickly.
11/23&27 My second out-of-town car ride where my legs didn’t twitch at all!
12/2 After three months of not sleeping well (it had improved before the deliverance in September but became a battleground once again, so I’ve been fighting to get back this ground), it’s finally getting better (it wasn’t pain or twitching, just couldn’t get comfortable or fall asleep)
*When we are saved, the incorruptible seed is planted in us (His life and nature; 1 Peter 1:23). We water it with the Word and rivers of living water, Holy Spirit (Jn 6:30). It doesn’t just happen (get watered and grow). It’s our job to study, know, and do the Word. It’s our job to stir up the gift (reference to Holy Spirit, not one of the many spiritual gifts listed in Corinthians). Then, the incorruptible seed grows until fruit (Galatians 5:22-23) is produced! Fruit is grown over time, while gifts are given in a moment.
*December has been a crazy intense month with all that moving entails, and my routines are currently sporadic and not routine! I’m really looking forward to slowing down some.
*When I first began to renew my mind, there was something that incredibly bothered me and eventually became the main motivation for me to pursue doing something: Since Jesus already paid for it (it’s already done and it’s for me, for now!), then isn’t it an insult to Jesus not to fully receive, work out, and walk in what He did for me?! ("Don’t settle for anything less than the fullness that Jesus paid for me to walk in.”)
12/15 Join a LifeTeam (like a small group that is a part of our church and ministry)
12/20 We throw away the shower chair and wash me standing up and holding onto Ricky.
12/27 Transfer to booth at restaurant, and I was pleasantly surprised at how well I managed.
12/31 “Come. My Son has unlocked the gates. You may have to push. But it doesn’t matter. The important thing is that you come." (Tongues interpretation) I’m learning that God is not responsible for how much or how hard I have to push. It’s up to me: how many roadblocks are in my heart, how many obstacles are in my mind, are my words working for me or against me, how many footholds have I given the Enemy… There are no requirements to receive healing (it’s a free gift!), but these things will determine how fast or slow, easy or difficult the journey is. God has provided the healing, given us access, and put His Spirit in us to help us receive and stand and persevere to see victory! I’m coming!
1/1 My knees are lifting higher (despite December’s hiatus)! So excited to reap this year all that I’ve been sowing!
*One of my daily battle cries—
I lack nothing… I lack no good thing…
I am complete, unconditionally loved, healed…
I have fullness and wholeness, every spiritual blessing, all things pertaining to life and godliness,
resurrection life, abundant life,
all freedom, all victory, all authority, unlimited power, perfect peace, everlasting strength, the joy of the LORD,
the fullness of the Spirit, rivers of living water, the blood of Jesus,
the Word of God and all of the promises of God.
I HAVE EVERYTHING!!!
January turned out to be a horrible month in many ways. In the past two months sickness ran through the kids three times! I succumbed the first time for three weeks, believing lies that I deserved it and thus accepted it, not fighting without doubt and fear. I had even lost my voice during that time and was usually in bed. I spent February playing catch-up and my vigor returns with my voice and sporadic attempts to stretch and establish routine. However, we both still feel like we’re under spiritual attack and have been since moving here… The Enemy is resisting!
*Why isn’t my recovery instantaneous or quicker? I have ideas, even though no one really knows. People who have worked out their own healings have told me that wondering why just slowed down the process. So, I want to resolve to stop focusing on wondering what’s wrong or what I need to change. However, my focus right now is on enforcing victory on my sleep.
*The recovery time for people I know who have worked out their own healings has differed from being around a year for recent problems to 4-10 years for muscular dystrophies. Not that it should or will take that long (I am not believing for that nor in agreement with that), but it does help me not to get discouraged during seemingly slow times or when facing pushback.
*I remember a story about a woman who had a large tumor bulging out of her neck. Every Sunday when people in the congregation would share praise reports, she would stand and thank God for healing her. After doing this weekly for five years, the pastor angrily interrupted her when she rose and publicly told her to sit back down because everyone there could still see the tumor in her neck. The tumor suddenly shrunk and disappeared! To God be the glory!
*Bottom line: I’m healed. It’s done. I sow and will continue sowing, for I will reap!!
2/24 Attend a dinner gathering and my stomach quickly becomes upset (intense cramps and nausea). After retreating to the bathroom to address this, I return to normal and pain flees within a few minutes
3/14 My hips are getting noticeably stronger when exercising; my bladder strength has improved (don’t need to wear underwear at night); returned to the improvements I noted at the end of this past August (plus being off the pharmaceutical drugs entirely!)
3/26 My arm goes numb (but hurts), but pain leaves and feeling returns after attacking it for half an hour
3/27 The body of my youngest child is beginning to respond to my commands and authority
*As I was thinking again about the seeming slowness of my recovery and how no one can see that I am getting better, I heard Holy Spirit softly whisper, “It’s a lie.” Whoa! And I instantly realized that I was once again letting the Enemy sidetrack me by sight, discourage me, and get my focus off Jesus and Truth and Reality. I went back over my improvements from last year and was so grateful and amazed. Rivers of Living Water are flowing through my veins and pushing out all decay. As long as I can keep my spiritual eyes off of what I see and feel in the physical realm, it is obvious to me that physical healing is happening. Carnality must die. Thank You, Best Friend! Forward, march!
*A few days later, I was told that I could stop having pretend faith because it’s either God or it’s not. While my immediate response was to receive the word as it felt good to my flesh (New Testament versus Old, keep pushing and enforcing because you’ve received instead of passively waiting to possibly receive), after praying and asking and testing and checking, I remembered what I wrote above. I can only laugh when I think about all the people I have met who have worked out their healing over time being told that! (I.e. A young lady friend had an autoimmune disorder that left her incapacitated in a hospital. after receiving prayer for four days in a row, her pinky finger moved a tad… that was the beginning of her full restoration.) I am reminded in Hebrews that real faith doesn’t mean that I will see it now but is persisting in believing despite sight (being certain regardless of what I see).
I am feeling extra victorious because the two biggest struggles I mentioned in February — sleep and time dilemma questions — have both dramatically improved!! Because of this, I feel strengthened and rejuvenated… Hallelujah! (Sorry I wasn’t able to keep a timeline for April, too hectic of a month!)
Soon after I posted in May, I got sick again for over a month, with a gradual decline and a slow recovery. Both improvements I had mentioned from early May—sleep and questioning—revert back.
6/17 Had another short-clip vision of an egg beginning to hatch. Then, it stops cracking for several days. (While it seems dormant on the outside, the chick keeps growing inside the shell.) Suddenly the egg begins to crack again and the chick quickly hatches. (This was supposed to be reflective of my healing.)
I use to always connect myself with the sick when I thought I was one of the sick and would read the Gospels — wanting Jesus to touch me or to touch Him. But then my eyes were opened. They were all sick unbelievers. Even the disciples didn’t yet have the Spirit of God in them making them new creations and giving them new hearts (that didn’t happen until Pentecost). That only leaves Jesus. I must see myself as Jesus and no one else when reading the Gospels. Duh. Jesus and I are one. We are His Body. As He is, so am we. We are God’s ambassadors. We are believers filled with the same Spirit of God and dunamis power! Just this one change of thought made a huge impact on me, opening my eyes and revolutionizing my way of thinking.
We left for a month on a road-trip in mid-July. Holy Spirit revealed a lot to me…
As you know, I had been plagued with why questions. Soon after we left, Holy Spirit told me that even the questions are lies. This has drastically changed my thought life and outlook! Now, I can take those thoughts captive and throw them out instead of having them steal my peace and upset me!!
This pertains to the Buildrior vision I had last Spring (2022)… If you remember, the stones that comprised the temple walls represented New Testament commands. Holy Spirit told me that the stones are love. I asked Him to explain. Even though each stone may be a different kind or size or shape or color or name, it is still a stone. In the same way, each stone symbolized a different New Testament directive, but the stones were and are love (meaning their purpose, motive, and goal is love). Just as there are many different kinds of animals, but they are all still animals.
7/17 Holy Spirit whispered to me, "As you mount My heart, you will get stronger. It is in the depths of My love that you will find your healing, so go deeper." I remember that it felt romantic 💘 About a week later, He told me, "We’re going to get it," talking about my healing. It made me smile (and cry happy tears) because He didn’t say, "You’re going to get it." He was emphasizing our intimacy and union! He is so tender and loving 🥰
On the trip, I started getting these little visions of people a lot (I would get them sporadically before but nothing like now). I call them prophetic visions as they are meant to encourage/exhort/edify/comfort but usually don’t pertain to the future. I can control them in the sense that I can just focus on the person, and voila! Holy Spirit shows me (not because of me but because He loves the person!) I know that they're not from me because I couldn't come up with them if I tried, as I really struggle to be imaginative.
While they are usually for other people, Holy Spirit has shown me a few for myself so far (and several for my family). I am thankful!
We got to visit the International House of Prayer in Kansas City for a day during the trip. While in prayer room, I was asking Holy Spirit how to minister to God, and He revealed to me that I should worship the Lord, receive from Him, and then I give what I have received.
8/10 "The clock will be rewound." (Tongues interpretation)
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 5:7
How do you resist the devil? Submit to God.
How do I submit to God? Present your body parts as living sacrifices!
We don’t have to obey Scripture, have it all together and do everything right in order to get healed, but we must be very careful watching our words and keeping the whole counsel of His Word (2 Tim 3:16-17) in order to keep the Enemy out of our bodies and souls (mind, emotions…) and from wreaking havoc. We cannot expect healing in our bodies take root if we are…
- cursing other people (I’m not referring to cuss words, but speaking to or of a person about their behavior [typically something they did that you don’t like] usually using superlatives or sarcasm which just destines that behavior to repeat itself and is ultimately cursing the person.)
- thinking negatively or with pessimism
- angry or bitter, which just gives satan footholds
- complaining (there are so many ways we adults have tried to explain this away and call it different names in order to make it acceptable)
- giving into your emotions (your spirit has been born again and made new, not your soul/emotions which need to be crucified and renewed daily)
- any sin really, because you’re just welcoming the Enemy and giving him permission to land in your heart and bring all the destruction he wants
- issuing threats (stemming from anger and a lack of faith and selfishness)
- lying (intentionally not keeping your word)
- not doing what you say you’re going to do (not letting your yes be yes and your no be no, more unintentional)
- actually anything not spoken in faith and love just releases deadly poison (James 3:8) into your body, think acid slowly eating away metal or those experiments showing the effects of words on water and rice (tons of YouTube videos of both)
You cannot speak haphazardly or emotionally-driven and expect your words to carry weight, especially in the spiritual realm (mountains to move and your commands to be obeyed). Our speech is to be honest, accurate, and full of love… seasoned with salt and full of grace (Colossians 4:6).
Let me reiterate this because this right here is HUGE (and what Holy Spirit has been trying to show me since the beginning of this journey): You do not have to do anything to get God to heal you (you don’t have to ask or beg Him because it’s already done and He already gave it.) We do the Word of God to protect ourselves and keep our defenses strong from the Destroyer!
(My mentor wrote this to me back in February 2021. I didn’t really grasp the truth and importance of this as much as I do now—
"I'll tell you what helped me and [my husband], especially as I was working through my healing. We made a rule that we didn't speak about pain or discouragement or anything else literally only Ephesians 4:29 and only Philippians 4:8. There was no venting even between us. We only vent in tongues together or apart. The only time we acknowledge pain levels etc. like I've encouraged you is to write it for your notes. Not even speaking it. So if you're going to speak it you only say I'm in less pain today, in other words only in the positive. And only with praises to God.. Does that make sense? So, if you've been in so much pain or discouragement because of whatever, you would only ever say it and phrase it in a way that indicated victory or that indicated the strategy to get victory. For example, if you've been in pain or hurt more lately than before, you would say something like I believe I'm supposed to pray in tongues a lot more today or I need to have a praise session. Without saying it, Ricky would understand that you've been in more pain, so would your family. You're basically using code but by doing so you're watching your mouth, you were giving your body direction (praise and speaking in tongues) and you're also giving your faith steps to take, all the while you are not giving in to complaining or giving life to what Satan wants you to give life to. Does that make sense? You have to do this with everything you've got because everything you say will reproduce.”)
Grace is NOT overlooking sin, which ends up being nothing but an excuse to keep on sinning (staying stuck because it’s too hard to stop and Jesus paid for it and God understands and has more grace anyway?!). That is what I learned my whole Christian life, and it’s WRONG! It is not a permission slip to just try harder. The correct definition of grace is an empowering strength, which enables us not to sin in the first place! This comes from the Spirit of God, which every believer has but has to learn to hear and heed (this takes practice).
I am just now moving into all of this and stumble quite a bit, but whenever I do I am able to smile and thank God that His Spirit is working in me and speaking to me and helping me and guiding me into all truth, that He has not created me to sin but called me to newness and life, that He loves me and does not give up on me, that I am growing in faith and love and knowledge, that I am becoming more sensitive to Holy Spirit, that I am getting up and persevering and moving forward and drawing near to Him! Hallelujah!! (This is how I turn a stumbling into sin that used to lead me into self-pity, discouragement, depression and despair, woe-is-me self-centeredness, and sorrowful attitude into now being able to immediately praise Him with a pure heart [1 John 1:9]… simply put, do not focus on the falling down but on the getting up!)
Before I get out of bed every morning, I declare:
I am strong. I am healed. I am free. I have faith. I have love. I have life.
I realize this post sounds heavy on the Spirit, but I was in the Word ditch too long. It’s so thrilling to be on the road between the ditches where the two are in perfect balance keeping you on the path!
9/17 I was asking the Lord what book of the Bible I should read next, and I looked up. A long strip of paper like a banner stretched across the sky, and the Word of God was written on it. These large drops of water started coming from it and falling on me like rain. I immediately knew that I was being washed with the water of the Word, and I heard, "It won’t stop." And I knew that He was telling me that no matter what I read in the Book, He is always going to bring fresh revelation (there is no end; it won’t stop). Then, Holy Spirit impressed upon me exactly what to read next.
9/18 I tell Ricky that I am the happiest I have ever been. And it’s definitely not because my circumstances have changed or gotten better. It’s because I’m getting to know the Helper, my Best Friend, within me — and He gives incredible joy! And just this week, I am sleeping better!
There’s so much more I could and want to write, but it’ll have to wait… Dan Mohler has the most biblically accurate theology I have ever come across.
