Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. ~ John 14:12
Okay. Back to the moment... I am praying about part of my testimony to share in two days and quoting Scripture in the meantime while I wait for some clear direction or
something. And suddenly He whispers (internally this time), "
Greater things than these..." And, as I said before, my life experiences clicked and came together unlike I have ever seen before.
What?!
Confusing, I know. I'll try to explain somewhat but skimp details for now.
After I had a rather momentous salvation story, I was way on fire for Jesus. Like, read the entire Bible three times through in six months. Yeah, I was smitten, obsessed, and
in love. Anyway, while I had quite my share of mistakes, sinfulness, and downfalls over the next eight (or so) years, my relationship with the Lord was... well, um... charismatic. Meaning the spiritual realm became very
real. [
I.e., God has spoken to me through dreams, given me visions, promised to heal me, allowed me to prophesy, lets me pray in tongues, baptized me in the Spirit, changed my name, used me to cast out demons, allowed me to be attacked by a demon (and overcome),
physical healed my knee, has spoken to me audibly (although it is usually internally), and has done other miraculous things in my life.] Whew, that's overwhelming. Let's suffice it to say that the first half of my spiritual life (after salvation) seems...
supernaturally wild.
By contrast, the past six years have been...
calm. Much less outward, supernatural stuff, but a TON of inward stuff. Not really less Spirit-action, but He's doing most of His crazy work
inside me. [
I.e., receiving and offering forgiveness, living in and by grace, embracing true freedom (which is being free from slavery to self (true selflessness)), overcoming bitterness, breaking strongholds, standing firm in faith, being delivered from addictions, daily dying to what I want to do or say... inner healing!]
While all the external Spirit-ual things are
really great (do not get me wrong here), He is showing me that all of the internal work of the Spirit are
the greater things Jesus was talking about that we will do! [I never really thought too much about this verse. I naively assumed "greater" meant bigger -- Jesus heals 10 lepers, we will heal 100.]
I guess I could sum up my story, thus far, with this sentence: the Holy Spirit drew me in with His visible signs of power, but it has been the Word that He now uses to chisel and refine me. Any real heart change or victory I have had has come through the power of the Word.
Basically, He interacts with me differently than He used to because He is moving me forward, taking me higher, going deeper, and doing the greater work in me. For the past few years I didn't really know why our relationship had changed. But now I do.