I AM Here.

Pull up to the diaper station at an angle. Lock right brake. Start removing baby bands. Tears spring up. I am needy. Gaze out the window. Darkness looms. Thunder rumbles. It's early afternoon.

"Abba," escapes from my lips. Exhaustion tries to escape.

"Yes. I AM here." A whisper. Rain graces the earth. And my thirsty soul.

Sigh. Gratitude. That's just what I need to know, to hear. Tears escape. Sigh.

Child, He is there. Always. For you.

Additions

I have added some pages to this blog. They are across the top of the page. I hope to eventually add another page with links to other good information. If you are reading this as a RSS feed, then you'll have to open this blog to see the changes :)

Read, browse, and be encouraged!

NFP Awareness Week

is July 25 - 31, 2010...

Let's honor Natural Family Planning!

And to kick off the celebration, I have added a page on this blog about Natural Family Planning...

Check it out!

You Would Think There's A Monster...

... or maybe I look like one ;)

You might think something is wrong as it sounds like she is in a great deal of pain, but Aolani often smiles while she does this.



Notes:

• Babies. Paper. Don't mix. I had to veto the playing with paper today. Gave her some. She chewed. Got too wet. Tore off chunk in her mouth. Mommy started to freak. Rammed my fingers in her mouth to save the day. Screams. Tears. Trauma. Yeah, don't mix.
• We have tried to play peek-a-boo often before, and she never really caught on. Until this week. LOVES it.
• Yesterday morning, Ricky discovered Aolani propped up on her arms. On her belly. Apparently, she can now roll over from her back to her belly. I have yet to witness it happening :(
  
  

I just like her expression here.

Choco-Taco

And this is Mommy's nickname for Aolani! It's probably pretty obvious that we love chocolate, especially the dark, organic kind :)

Here's a few random (and not-too-important) 5-month comments:

1. Continues to workout her windpipes, making some very interesting noises -- like her cheerful "I'm being ripped apart" screams and "fart" sounds (she is so loud now that you can't hear me when I speak at the same time)
2. Cries when you take away the toy she is playing with
3. Keeps trying to sit up on her own and is almost halfway there
4. Grabs her feet to rock and play, but I don't think she realizes what they are or knows that they belong to her
5. Her hair is starting to grow -- however, the progress isn't noticeable to anyone except her mommy
6. Favorite toys: my water bottle, paper, burp cloth and wristwatch (seriously, toys are so overrated! Babies do not need noisy, plastic things to "grow" and "develop." All they need are parents to interact with them! Go spend time with your family!)
7. Aolani has not gotten sick in any way since her birth!! I am sure nursing is key, but I also take plenty of high-quality probiotics everyday to optimize our immune systems.
8. Stats: Not positive, but I know she is more than double her birth weight (~15 lbs)!

And, here's Aolani sportin' her durag (and a peace sign):

p.s. My left foot is almost all better! It is practically straight again, and I even stood flat-footed on it. Praise God for healing my foot!

Love (the real, true kind)

A few thoughts from Aidan:

I am overwhelmed/overcome with the love that I have for Aolani. To be honest, you will NOT be able to imagine or grasp the love a parent has for a child until you have your own. I know that is cliché, but it is true. Period.

With that said, I was thinking the other day about this immense love and have found that it is completely natural. Like breathing. I cannot contain it or stop it or start it. It is just there and beyond control.

To summarize thus far the foundational understandings -- this love is ginormous and uncontrollable. This is where I mention the mother who lifted a car off of her child. Moving on to new revelatory thought ;)

Let's brainstorm... I think I'll use numbers to help me.

1. Love child(ren) - this is so natural that it just flows. It is EASY; not loving them would be HARD. I think part of what makes this easy is the fact that your child is part of you, of you, from you...
2. Love spouse - this is HARD. If you are married, then no explanation is needed. If you aren't married, then trust me. I think part of what makes this hard is the fact that your spouse is from outside you.
3. Love God - this is (by far) the HARDEST. It is easy to pay lip service, say that you love Him. However, I'm talking about action. Love, the verb. Jesus even said that loving Him means obeying Him (John 14:23). Walking as He walked, following after Him. Figuratively, sounds easy. Practical application, hard stuff.

Who noticed that I went easiest to hardest? But God wants us to reverse the order. We are to love Him first, foremost and utmost (Mark 12:30). Then, we should love our spouse (so as to provide the children with a safe home, stable environment, show them what love looks like... plus, your spouse will, God-willing, still be around when the kids leave you!) Finally, we should love our child(ren). Seriously, kids don't want you to love them most. It's too much pressure for them. They don't want to be your universe but want you to show them Who holds the universe. They want to fill like they are secure within something bigger -- the family -- and a part of the biggest event ever -- God's plan to redeem the world.

Bottom line: Love God. Love spouse. Love child(ren). Hardest to easiest.

Point: Simply, I think God wants us to do hard things because it builds character, among many good traits. By loving and trying to love people, maybe eventually, the embers of our love towards God will ignite. And, we will love Him a little bit more than we did before. Let's inspire others to do so, too!

Three notes/disclaimers:

This is not Scripture, but my observations and interpretations.

The love I am talking about here is the pure, selfless and sacrificial kind (agape).

Although loving my child does give me a better understanding of God's love for us, I fully realize that I will never, ever, EVER be able to even remotely fathom how much God could possibly love us (expressed through Jesus), both as our Bridegroom and our Father.

Choco-Cherry Love

Although that happens to be Ricky's favorite DQ blizzard, it has also become Aolani's nickname. Seriously, I can't decide if she is the most beautiful baby there ever was or the happiest baby there ever was... wait. I don't have to decide. I'm the Mommy. She's BOTH!

Aolani is either smiling or laughing [almost] ALL THE TIME (around us anyways; she's a little shy around others)! Here's a glimpse of her this past weekend.

She sleeps, too ;)

"They" say that there are several ways to decrease the chance of a baby getting colic -- breastfeeding, wearing your baby via baby-carrier, co-sleeping, skin-on-skin contact -- and so we do/did them all. I guess something worked?!

Here is a good, short video of her laughing (for hearing not really seeing):

Kill Me. Burn Me. I Will Not Say The Oath.

**A MUST READ! This is my personal favorite one of the four.**

To complete the Voice of the Martyrs stories we compiled, here is the final short story:

Kill Me. Burn Me. I Will Not Say The Oath.

(just click on the link above)

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body
but cannot kill the soul.
Rather, be afraid of the One
who can destroy both soul and body in hell.
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?
Yet not one of them will fall to the ground
apart from the will of your Father.
And even the very hairs of your head
are all numbered.
So don't be afraid;
you are worth more than many sparrows.
Matthew 10:28-31

You can read our original post with the first story here: Faithful Until Death.

You can read the subsequent post with the second story here: Whoever Has More Persecution Gets A Bigger Crown.

You can read our previous post with the third story here: God's Prison Plans.

Mosaic

• We just now celebrated our third anniversary (May 20) by going to a murder-mystery interactive dinner theatre. The event was Clue! Here we are with Professor Plum. However, Mrs. Peacock did it in the kitchen with the revolver.

• So, I need your input on two things. First, my friend offered to help me write a book... what do you think? Second, I was brainstorming a few weeks ago about a way to hold Aolani against my body (on my lap) facing out and sitting up. Epiphany hit. A talented seamstress from church agreed to help. After some modifications, I think we got a good product which we have dubbed "Baby Bands." I have several baby wraps/carriers, but none did exactly what I wanted. Mainly, I needed to be able to put her in it myself. The sling is good for babies, but she wants to sit up and face out like a big girl now. Anyway, my arms are free to roll us around, and she is secure (not to mention happy). She loves traveling with Mommy! Simply put, they are stretchy bands that I use as a harness. What I was wondering -- do you think there is any kind of need/market for these bands? This isn't the best shot (as it looks like one band), but here she is... Oh yeah, please email me your thoughts.

• There is this great website/blog called Passionate Homemaking. It is an answer to my prayers and has really spurred me on to become more intentional in my life as a godly woman, wife and mother. Lately, I am reading through the archives and have created a Mission Statement. I have always thought that it is important to be a good steward of my time and to have goals. This quote from Donald Whitney really hit home, "Even those most faithful to God occasionally need to pause and think about the direction of their lives. It’s so easy to bump along from one busy week to another without ever stopping to ponder where we’re going and where we should be going." "Planners" are constantly getting bashed on, but I think that planning is a gift and a skill that one can use to glorify God! Remember: He who fails to plan, plans to fail.
• Here is Aolani's new ride, the Babee Tenda Feeding Table. We all just LOVE it! Although I haven't tried yet, I am going to aim at getting her in and out of it myself. It rolls, she can eat in it (not yet), she plays with her toys in it, and she can join us at the dinner table :)
  
• Our friend got her a lamb blanket -- personalized with her name! She loves to eat it. So much for being vegetarian ;)

• Final note: Rumors are going 'round that my new wheelchair is in the making!

Happy 1st Birthday, Kylie!

Our (only) niece turns a whooping one today :) Over the weekend, her parents threw her a big bash. It was Aolani's first party, which explains why she crashed towards the end of it...

Our precious (and active) Kylie; she had her first taste of sugar/cake at her party, and I'm sure no one questions the outcome ;)