Healing Journey Update 9

Click here to see the entire timeline.

9/15 PT noticed that I have more muscular control and looser hips; remove both side rests on wheelchair (for trunk stability) — “The disassembly of the wheelchair begins!” 

9/16 I got a massage today (from the lady who gave me one back in February). Half way through, she comments to Ricky, “She is so much better! Do you know why??" Music to my ears. Glory to God! 

*I have NO cares (1 Peter 5:7) 

             NO worries (Matthew 6:25) 

             NO fears (1 John 4:18) 

             NO needs (Philippians 4:19) 

         & NO wants (Psalm 23:1)! 

I have NO lack (Psalm 34:10) 

                            for God has given me 

             EVERYTHING (Romans 8:32, 2 Peter 1:3)!

 

9/25 I wrote a blog post looking back and recognizing the importance of taking action in all parts of salvation.

Salvation Involves Action

I don’t know why I never put two and two together. 

As I have mentioned before, any healing requires faith (hope in action), a result of obedience. Same goes for salvation. My own testimony bears witness! 

For at least a year before I came to Jesus with surrender and for newness, I would pray every single night, begging God to please forgive my wretched behavior that day and proceed to do the same sins the next day. No Jesus, no peace, no Holy Spirit, no power. I felt desperate and stuck, which led to several failed suicidal attempts. (I believed in God and knew about Jesus.) 

I met Jesus at a hockey game! It was the beginning of a radical transformation— "I returned home to change my books, music, entertainment, friends, clothes, etc. Suddenly, I could see God face to face, and I felt like I finally got rid of the wall of sin I had put up that was separating me from God. Finally, I could see Him clearly, see His love, and hear His voice. I could understand so much more.” (From a description I wrote about it soon after my salvation experience.) 

Whenever I would pray and plead everyday, I was just hoping that He would do it all. But that’s just hope and not faith. Faith is putting your hope into ACTION. Yet, when I did something (purged) to outwardly demonstrate my inward belief, SKADOOSH. The world changed, and He was right there (always was; I had erected the wall of sin between us, and I had to knock it down). 

Basically, I should have known. From the very beginning of my salvation, action has been dire and foundational. Just as action was the necessary and final step for salvation*, so it is for healing. Holy Spirit had shown me this truth over 21 years ago, and I’m just now getting it! 

*Not a good works, trying to earn salvation kind of action, but demonstrating that you believe you have received kind of action. By grace (Him) through faith (me)! [Ephesians 2:8-9]

Healing Journey Update 8

Click here to see the entire timeline.

*A right understanding of our triune being is foundational to bodily healing (and all growth!) I’ll try to put it in a nutshell. We are spirit, soul (mind, emotions, will), and body. When we are saved and become new creations, it’s our spirits that are made new, complete, and perfect! Not our bodies (we still look and likely feel the same) and not our souls (we usually still have the same habits, thoughts, and memories, leading us to wrongly believe that we still have the sin nature). It is our job to tell our souls to shut up, take a backseat, and learn to constantly submit to the spirit! The spirit realm must become the dominant realm we function in. This is why we must be in the Word all the time, renewing and retraining our minds to Truth! Now, the body is neutral (like money or computers or the internet). It will follow the path that it’s already on and do what it’s told. If your new spirit is telling the body one thing and your soul another, then your body is going to keep on its current course (double-mindedness), but if you can renew your mind and bring your soul into submission, then it’s two against one (spirit and soul unite and agree) the body must listen (this may take time for it to change course). Majority wins! One more thing. When we are saved, we receive God’s Holy Spirit into our spirit, but we can let Him out into our whole triune being through faith (and the Baptism of the Holy Spirit). He can help our souls (revealing mysteries, sharing wisdom, and quickening the Logos to us, leading us to act on that specific Word, so it can become Rhema) and our bodies (rest, rejuvenation, strengthening, healing) — Hallelujah! 

9/9 It’s been a whole week of freedom from drugs! Although my sleep is not as restful as I would like for it to be yet and my legs vibrate some during the day, I would become suicidal whenever I went over 72 hours without drugs in the past. I have tried three times over the last five years. (For all those who are skeptical, this is huge!) 

9/10 I began to notice that my legs were helping my arms lift up my body in the wheelchair about a month ago, and suddenly I noticed that my legs were doing the majority of the work just using my arms more for motivation and guidance in pushing my body up :)

9/12 My right leg hasn’t locked up in over a month! 

9/13 My ears had always been allergic to the metal in earrings. I had to massage them with Vaseline every night if I wanted to wear earrings the following day (and it didn’t always work). But, I haven’t had to use any Vaseline in over a month, and no allergic reactions :) 

*For over 20 years, I would boast that I didn’t really fear anything… except pain and torture. Looking back over the past year, I realize that I was reaping what I had sown!

Healing Journey Update 7

Click here to see the entire timeline.

9/1-4 Ricky and I, along with the two bigger kids, attend a church conference a few hours from here in the mountains of North Carolina. Within a day and a half, several things happen to our family making it apparent that Satan was attempting to keep me from the conference. I was under intense spiritual attack on the middle day (terrible UTI and uncontrollable urinating, chills and convulsions, vomiting and unable to eat, had a hard time even sitting up or opening eyes). I received much intercession and deliverance that evening. Despite feeling exhausted and depleted, my legs felt fine and didn’t twitch like they usually did at this point. So, I didn’t take either drug. I slept without taking them for the first time since I started using them over five years ago!! I was back to 100% Sunday (actually, WAY better!) [I intend to write a detailed account of our weekend and will link to it here, not to create a demons and deliverance theology but just to have a thorough documentation of my personal experience.]

9/6 Flush remaining drugs — I am NOT going back! Unlike the 1/23 experience when the spirit of affliction had fled and I didn’t take any drugs at first but ended up taking a little bit in the middle of the night because my legs were vibrating, I know what’s going on this time (whereas it took me a couple days to figure out what was happening back in January). Not only do I know what happened, but I also now know how to resist the Enemy and how to stand firm in the freedom of Jesus (Galatians 5:1) which I was not prepared to do before. 

*In thinking about why I hadn’t given up by now… While there are many things I could mention, it came down to Truth. You have to get to the point when you realize that pain does not determine whether you are healed or not. Only His Word is Truth and Reality. What you see and feel may be fact for now (facts change, truths don’t). If you can persist in believing and clinging to truth despite what you see and feel, what is true in the spiritual will (and must) come into the natural and physical realm!