All Eyes

• My parents were here over the weekend. We drove up mountains to that nice, local-ingredients restaurant. Ricky and I went on a date to a benefit/concert. And, our church small group has begun meeting again :)
• I am still waiting to pass the baby's body. Several of my first-trimester trials are easing and disappearing!

Watching the train

• Verse to memorize this week: Colossians 3:3 ~ For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

Forming the Right Attachment

I wanted to add a little comment onto my last pondering about following God's leading.

I was thinking about how some people seem to struggle (sad, angry, frustrated, etc.) when things do not go as they had planned or when God shuts a door and says 'no' to what you are planning.

I am sure I have been there before, but I (we) usually rejoice now when God shuts a door. Why? Because that means He is leading us, and that is our first and foremost desire -- to follow Him and His leading of our lives.

And, there lies the difference. Our heart's desire.

If you struggle when your plans don't work out, then you have formed an emotional attachment to them.

Only set your emotions (heart, mind, soul) on Jesus Himself. Not even on good ideas or other good things. Just Him. There are many good things that He does not call you to, even if it seems like a perfect fit.

Then, when He says 'no' to something, you will not be phased one bit. In fact you will be glad for any direction. Because you were not emotionally attached to some desire or plan of yours, but on Christ alone and following His lead.

Strokes of Us

• As Avalynn's body has not passed yet, we had an ultrasound scan done this morning to check on things. She is still in heaven, but her body still remains fully intact in the womb. Since there is no sign of infection, the doctor says that we can keep waiting two more weeks but to remain vigilant in looking for infection. So, no D&C surgery scheduled yet. My mom is still here but plans on returning to her house in a few days.
• Over the weekend, we had the joy of having two of our college friends stop by for a quick meal and visit... 

 Painting with water

• Verse to memorize this week: Colossians 3:2 ~ Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 

Sheep Follow

I just do not have the time to write lately, but we have been praying about following God's leading a lot lately.

And, I will say that I often hear people talking about their plans, how great their plans seem, and how they want God's blessing on their plans (that they work out).

But, if your plans are not His plans, then why would you want your plans to happen?

His plans are reliable and secure. They lead to peace, safety, and happiness (in the eternal sense).

Why strive after things that He has not ordained?

In His will is the only place we ever want to be.

Life Doesn't Slow

Micaiah had a high fever (close to 104; we believe fevers are productively good) for a couple days a few weeks ago, and he would sleep on me for hours (precious times!)

Ice cube exploration (before adding in toys)

The Bubble-Making Machine

My mom brought three of my dance costumes for Aolani to play dress-up. This was for a ballet-wedding.

Jazz-leopard

Tap-penguin

At the library

Driving her loaded car

Thank you Nonna for the patriotic outfits (for Independence Day) that they got to wear again for

Labor Day.

More exploration with beans, rice, and dried pasta

Wee fort

Baking cookies with Grandma

At the park with Grandma

In a big-kid swing

Having a tea party

On the motorcycle merry-go-round

On the train ride for wee ones (Micaiah only lasted through two rounds before bawling, and the attendant had to stop the train to let the criers off.)

At the town festival

Aolani says that she wants to do this ride by herself next year ;)

At the church pool party/gathering

Sorting socks

When the kids need to get out for a bit, Ricky goes to the local grocery store and pushes them around the aisles in the "racecart" just for fun (seriously).

• I'll resume Aolani's verses next week. We started homeschooling preschool this week, and it's fun and easy!
• To honor Avalynn, I am going to memorize Colossians 3. Here's verse 1: Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  

We've Been Beaten

We had our first ultrasound last week, and we learned that we have had a missed miscarriage.

Our baby has gone to be with Jesus. We've been beaten (to Heaven).

Details (all the questions I can think of right now) --

1. What is a missed miscarriage?
• Simply put, I have had a miscarriage, but my body doesn't know it. My body still thinks it is pregnant with a living baby. My body has missed the memo. This is my first miscarriage, so I am in uncharted territory here.
2. What happened?
• No idea; God knows, and we don't. I was at 13 weeks along, but our baby measured at almost 10 weeks in size according to the ultrasound. We went to the doctor days beforehand, but the nurse practitioner could not find the heartbeat. She gave us reasons why that could be happening but scheduled an ultrasound for a few days later just to be certain and to actually see the heartbeat, which consequently was not present.
3. Did you have any forewarning?
• Physically, no. Yet, I will say that I kept running across articles about miscarriages this year, and, as a result, I kept warning Ricky that we were not immune to miscarriage and it could very likely happen to us. [Maybe that was a small way of God preparing us? I don't know.]
4. How are you feeling?
• Emotionally and spiritually, we are well and in good spirits, as we trust the LORD completely. Grieving our loss, but peaceful and at rest. Physically, I still have many pregnancy symptoms (insomnia, restless legs, exhaustion, food cravings, gagging, etc). This is tough because it feels like pointless suffering (but I know it's not: Romans 8:18). 
5. What now?
• We returned from the doctor yesterday as I have still not passed the baby's body. He is giving me two more weeks for my body to do it naturally before using a D&C procedure to do so. My mom has been with us for 12 days now and will stay with us until I pass the baby's body, which is a huge blessing for us. 
6. Are you going to honor this life tangibly?
• We have named her. [We are supposing that our baby is a girl due to how sick I was and other reasons.] Her name is Avalynn Eliza. Avalynn means "beautiful breath of life." We firmly believe that all life is a gift, no matter how long it was lived. We may bury a small box/casket for our own sake.
7. Any other thoughts or prayers?
• Let's see... One of my sinful-flesh thoughts was I endured an entire first trimester with nothing to show for it. After taking that ridiculous thought captive (2 Cor. 10:5), I realized that I did not go through a first trimester just so that I can physically hold a baby at the end of nine months. We got pregnant because we felt like God was leading us to create a life. And He did create an eternal being. So yes, it was worth it! Further, one of the hardest feelings for me lately has been feeling like I am harboring death when, as a Christ-follower, I am called to be a life-giver... He's working on me with that one. 
• Prayers: Mainly, that God would receive all the glory possible, whether that means restoring Avalynn's life to her body (we definitely believe in and are open to miracles) or keeping her with Him. If the latter is His plan, then we are praying against infection and a natural passing of the body.

Forgot to Mention

Taking a short break. Be back soon.