Of course, thinking these thoughts does nothing. Implementing them does. I could not put a single one into effect on my own. But, once I knew that and cry out for help (every time right now), then I begin to do it and take a step of faith. And lo and behold, He is right there empowering me and upholding me to carry the helpful hint out! Warning: Hints not beneficial alone. Many of these are similar; I've just thought these at different times, instead of summing these up in one or two hints (which may be a way that helps someone).
- Treat him/her as my persecutor
- Treat him/her as I want God to treat me when I do wrong, with open arms and unconditional love, not standoffish but intimate
- James 1:19-20
- Hebrews 10:36
- Romans 12:18
- Is it worth it? [Is this problem worth the strife that will be engendered...]
- Proverbs 19:11
- Proverbs 20:3
- Don't side with Satan as an accuser, but side with Christ as a defender
- If I want God to forgive me, then I must forgive
- Imitate Christ
- Let God judge; it's not my job
- Punishment does not lead to reconciliation
- He/She is redeemed, see him/her that way
- I want to be a cheerleader and encourager
- Proverbs 14:1
- Don't want to be considered a nag, but as a cheerful and content wife
- Surviving or thriving depends upon my attitude
- How I respond is my choice
- If I respect God, then I must respect and obey my husband as my God-given authority
- My husband is not accountable to me but to God alone
- Pick your battles
- Would I expend energy over this if I was sick?
- I must submit, so do it with gladness
- Choose joy
- I get to decide how happy I want to be by deciding to give thanks
- Use the replacement principle with thanksgiving, by giving thanks for something fitting to that person or moment
- Put my husband's wants before my needs
- Trust God to take care of me and meet my needs
- Galatians 2:20
- Galatians 5:24-25
- 1 Thessalonians 5:11
- How do I want the kids to view and remember their daddy?
- Demonstrate Scripture and its application for my kids
- I want to be Christ to him/her
- I want to support and not tear down -- Galatians 5:15
- Show my kids how to be a Christian spouse
- What do I want my kids to remember about us and our marriage?
- Be who I want to be; be someone I want to be around
- Looking back on my life in the future, how would I want respond?
- Do what the future me would want me to do now
- No regret
- Parable of the two debtors: Matthew 18:21-35
- Compare the current struggle with other real problems like child slavery or sex trafficking or the Persecuted Church
- Four evidences of real forgiveness -- good thought, hurt you not, gossip never, friends forever
- Focus on his/her positives as a father/mother, husband/wife, and man/woman
- If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all
- Wisdom: I only live this life-- today, right now-- once; am I living it like I want or making the choices I want? Be specific to the moment!
- I have a choice
- Depression, sorrow, addictions, or bad days do not control me
- 1 Corinthians 6:19
- Can I be happy even if I had to deal with this indefinitely?
- Remember his/her humanness and fallenness
- I want, need grace for my weaknesses and struggles
- Eternal perspective
- What kind of legacy do I want to leave?
- Choose God's way
- Ephesians 4:29
- Because my husband in charge, if I disagree with a parenting decision, I share and let it go since God will hold him accountable for it
- Submitting is a gift to be offered not a duty to be coerced
- Submission and service are the roles of Jesus -- Philippians 2:5-11
- Keep my mouth shut and just pray for him/her
- Pull a George Constanza and do the opposite of what I want to do (it's from an old Seinfeld episode)
- I do not want to allow Satan to use me for his plan
- I owe God, so do what He wants
- Just smile and breathe first
- If I do what I want, then I'll botch it...
- Don't let a disagreement lead to disobedience
- Live in silence before God, remembering my own brokenness and depravity
- No one's need is greater than my own need; no one's sin is greater than my own sin
- His majesty and grandeur put things into perspective -- when He breathes, stars come into existence
- When I try to control, it only leads to unhappiness and an incomplete/unfulfilled feeling
- I am a soldier in God's army and must do what He commands