Ado-Wadi

• Aolani is in full-blown toddlerhood; so, my days consist of "No hitting! No screaming! No biting!" Ricky had a convention the other day, and I had 11 hours of this. It could be so much worse though. Right now, she oscillates between being my goofy goosey and messy menace as I call her ;)
• Aolani's antics: says toes and birdie, roars, climbs on everything, throws whatever she has into the bathtub, tries to put her shoes on, empties all her toy bins so she can turn them upside down to stand on), fist bumps, throws toys into the trash can, eagerly goes down for a nap, freaks out if she isn't allowed to control feeding herself, talks incessantly and unintelligibly, calls me Daddy, knocks on closed doors...
• The other day, Aolani and I were attacked by mosquitoes. Well, one happened to bite three times around her left eye, causing her eye to swell shut. It took days for her eye to open more and more and for the redness to dissipate. She looked so pitiable, but alas I could not get a clear picture of it.
• Nursing: Aolani is still nursing 3-4 times a day despite the pregnancy. As I have no intention of weaning her, I hope to tandem nurse once Micaiah is born (as long as she does not wean herself before then). I am learning what I can and reading Adventures in Tandem Nursing for some insight about nursing two.
• At 29 weeks swollen, I am growing quite large rather rapidly. Meaning that Ricky is huffing and puffing, and I am gaining new stretch marks ;) I am still searching for a doctor and a doula!

• For several days, Aolani started saying "Ado-Wadi" a lot. Every time we'd say it, she'd repeat it and proceed to giggle, blush, and smile afterwards. We had no idea what she was saying and tried to think of everything! Finally, days later we were going over who is who in our little family. We asked her what her name is, and she replied, "Ado-Wadi." That was it! A-O-L-A-N-I. Same number of syllables and same vowels. And just today, she was picking up my phone and saying "Ado-Wadi." Too cute! This video was taken the first day she started saying it.

• Verses to memorize this week: Romans 8:7-9 ~ The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ.

How to Please Daddy

One day back in college, I was looking into the bathroom mirror of my apartment and randomly asked myself, "Do I please God?"

Automatic response: No.

I was appalled. I must really think that. I didn't even hesitate with my answer. I knew that was not the right reply, but still I must feel that way deep in my heart. I quickly realized that there must be a problem. I mean, what girl doesn't want to please her Daddy?

As I sought out help to this dilemma (and became more disappointed with what advice I was hearing), God suddenly broke through to me one day with a visual. Hallelujah! Here's my visual, which I'll explain. {I know this is very simplistic, but I tend to complicate His simple truth and need(ed) His simple reminder and grace and tenderness.}

When I first discovered the treasure of faith in Jesus (i.e., salvation), I was beyond glee. I was head over heels in love with Jesus, AND HE FELT THE SAME WAY TOWARDS ME! Contentment hardly describes my feelings. I wanted to please the Father ("A"), and I DID. Just by believing ("B") in His Son. Well, all those things in the "C" column started happening, naturally. "C" is the outflow of faith. Anyway, I guess somewhere along this journey of following Jesus, I got wrapped up in "C." Going here, doing this, and saying that... And somehow, without even realizing it, "C" replaced "B" and became the focus. I pleased God by doing "C." Basically, I was spending my time and effort on producing, striving, and doing versus the knowing, loving, and being He actually requires. Satan just yearns to get our eyes off of faith in Jesus and on works!

Now, I am in no way bashing any of the very good things in the "C" column. It is just that doing those things do not earn the pleasure of our LORD. Only faith ("B") pleases Him. Repeat: Only faith pleases God. All those results ("C") will happen because of faith. "C" will flow out from within if you have your heart and mind set on Him.

"And without faith it is impossible to please God," ~ Hebrews 11:6

Food, Food, and Water

• This week has been full and eventful: third trimester largeness and weariness, Aolani is 19 months and acting her age, bathroom transferring troubles (and solution!), first visit to a church in the area, first visit to Ricky's workplace (courthouse) today, and four stops for groceries (a supermarket, a farmer's market, a health food store, and a local farm). Oh, and lots of phone calls... lots. Yuck :( Meanwhile, Ricky is remembering how to cook, Aolani is in the process of going down to one nap a day, and our neighbors have started moving into their side of the duplex.
• One huge benefit of Ricky's new job -- he gets to come home for lunch when he is in this county! We are only 10 minutes from the courthouse.
• Another benefit for Ricky -- the court scenario provides a lot of drama, and Ricky loves drama!
• Today: Ricky is wearing a suit and tie and pushing me while wearing my Sunday best. Meanwhile, Aolani is naked except for a diaper and tennis shoes cruising on my lap. Downtown. Stares? You betcha. Big blowout, and Mommy forgets the back-up outfit. Whoops!
• Aolani has dropped her sippy cup one too many times and cracked the lid. So, I went to buy another one on Amazon and found a great "straw bottle," which thrills our straw-obsessed daughter. She now drinks water like a camel, hydrating more than I do, and peeing like a pregnant woman. Here she is when we first gave it to her:

• We think it's funny how Aolani's first word was water (still is her favorite word, by far) because clouds are made of water! [Aolani means "heavenly cloud" in Hawai'ian.]
• Verses to memorize this week: Romans 8:4-6 ~ in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.

Expectations, Met!

Through premarital counseling, reading marriage books, and marital seminars or studies, there is a large commonality that is always mentioned -- expectations. Particularly, unmet expectations. There are many reasons why it is bad to go into marriage expecting to receive from your spouse -- diminishes thankfulness, breeds bitterness, lack of appreciation, stolen joy, abets depression, disappointment abounds, loss of laughter and smiles, hurt creeps in, surprises become demands, respect disappears, love can dwindle, tension mounts... Yeah, a bunch of icky, no-good results.

Anyway, expectations in marriage = bad. But, I was thinking how expectations are not bad, especially in our relationship with Daddy. In fact, His word speaks of how we ought to expect with and from the LORD.

Psalm 5:3 ~ In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.

Psalm 39:7 ~ And now, Lord, what do I wait for and expect? My hope and expectation are in You.

Lamentations 3:24-5 ~ The Lord is my portion or share, says my living being; therefore will I hope in Him and wait expectantly for Him. The Lord is good to those who wait hopefully and expectantly for Him, to those who seek Him.

Micah 7:7 ~ But as for me, I will look to the Lord and confident in Him I will keep watch; I will wait with hope and expectancy for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.

2 Corinthians 1:10 ~ [For it is He] Who rescued and saved us from such a perilous death, and He will still rescue and save us; in and on Him we have set our hope (our joyful and confident expectation) that He will again deliver us [from danger and destruction and draw us to Himself],

2 Peter 3:14 ~ So, beloved, since you are expecting these things, be eager to be found by Him [at His coming] without spot or blemish and at peace [in serene confidence, free from fears and agitating passions and moral conflicts].

Jude 1:21 ~ Guard and keep yourselves in the love of God; expect and patiently wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah)--[which will bring you] unto life eternal.

Nothing too deep, just a reminder for myself that expectations are good in my relationship with God and bad in my relationship with Ricky (who is just a fallen, weak human like myself).

Hoping and expecting,

And We're Off...

• This is our first week without guests, aka parents :) So, it is back to laundry, cooking, and diaper changing, aka real life.
• This time, I really do plan on posting some pictures of our new abode... soon.
• I am trying to do a five minute activity every day during the week with Aolani from the book Slow and Steady Get Me Ready. It is actually less than two minutes with her minute attention span ;)

Off to work

• Aolani says joy and baa for sheep.

Off to hunt for Easter eggs?

Off to read

Off the ground

Off the charts

{A picture of Aolani, taken in July, that is newly discovered and too cute!}

• Since I am now in my third trimester, I am going to start memorizing chapter eight in the book of Romans for Micaiah. God-willing, I have 13 weeks (or 3 months) before he arrives, so I will aim to memorize three verses a week (there are 39 verses). Here we go: Romans 8:1-3 ~ Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh,

Removed, Crucified, Gone

"For God's way of deliverance is altogether different from man's way. Man's way is to try to suppress sin by seeking to overcome it; God's way is to remove the sinner. Many Christians mourn over their weakness, thinking that if only they were stronger all would be well. The idea that, because failure to lead a holy life is due to our impotence, something more is therefore demanded of us, leads naturally to this false conception of the way of deliverance. If we are preoccupied with the power of sin and with our inability to meet it, then we naturally conclude that to gain the victory over sin we must have more power. 'If only I were stronger,' we say, 'I could overcome my violent outbursts of temper,' and so we plead with the Lord to strengthen us that we may exercise more self-control.

But this is altogether a fallacy; it is not Christianity. God's means of delivering us from sin is not by making us stronger and stronger, but by making us weaker and weaker... God sets us free from the dominion of sin, not by strengthening our old man but by crucifying him." ~ Watchman Nee

The Box-er

• All I can say is that our life lately consists of boxes. And what a great toy for Aolani! My parents took last week off of work to help us pack, load, drive, unload, unpack, and get settled - whew! I wore them out! Ricky's mom is here this week helping clean, care for Aolani while I work on to-do lists and Ricky starts his new job, and to provide support while I get settled and try to figure out how to make this new place work for us! All four parents will be here this weekend! Please pray for us as we try to get settled (this entails A LOT of work and time), make contacts and build a support system, organize utilities and Internet, change addresses (again this same year!), find doctors, get equipment... it's all a bit much with a pregnant belly and an active toddler ;) Next week begins the real deal with no guests.
• Our niece, Caroline Grace, was born last Saturday morning to my brother and sister-in-law. While we are so bummed to have missed it, she is a beauty!
• Oh, and Hurricane Irene did not harm us. She just caused us to enjoy the heat and eat by candlelight!
• Aolani's sleep is a little off from all the stress and change, but she is taking two decent naps during the day - as long as we're home and not out-n-about. When she gets settled, I think she might be ready for just one nap a day.
• I am 26 weeks swollen. This pregnancy is such a breeze with just normal repercussions - tired, hungry, achy, and a sore bottom (my version of sore feet from sitting down all day with a big boy adding extra weight). I am in the process of searching for a doctor/midwife and doula.

• Aolani is so goofy and loves to laugh! She craves constant attention and has started to throw temper tantrums - eeek! Not to mention that she has figured out how to unbuckle her seat belt and stand up in a highchair. Aolani's newest words: dirty, up, out, hot, Bible, shoes, toys, turtle... and we think she is trying to say (or spell) her name, which sounds like the vowels a, e, o, u coming out of her mouth :) And, she gives me sweet, wet kisses that make your heart flutter.
• Verse to memorize this week: Galatians 6:2 ~ Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

As Unto the Lord

I do not like to think about this, needless talk about it.

Aolani is a Daddy's girl, no surprise. She always prefers him over me. While Ricky is fun and goofy, a lot of her preferential treatment has to do with the fact that I am in a wheelchair. Ricky used to try and tell me that it's not true, but it's so obvious that he can no longer deny it. Aolani is such an active toddler. She doesn't want to sit on my lap; she wants off to either explore on her own or walk around in someone else's arms. She squirms and fusses on my lap, reaching out for someone, anyone, to come get her and set her free from the prison of Mommy's lap.

It hurts. I know that neither she nor I am to blame, but it's still like constantly pulling a scab off of a wound.

This used to make me cry a lot - pouring my life out for her just to have her shun me. But I remind myself that I am not doing this for her to receive back from her - a hug, a kiss, a smile, a cuddle, or other affection that leads to me feeling good (although affection is very nice). I do all that I do for her as if I were serving Jesus. As unto the LORD. He is my #1. He is the only One worthy of my love, devotion, and service. He is the One Who sees all of my effort. My reward will come from Him.

When I used to tell myself this, I would grasp this truth in my head and keep on wailing. Yet, I would keep reminding myself of this day in and day out, and now it truly helps! I guess repetition got this from my head to my heart ;) Thank You LORD for this eventual breakthrough!

So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. ~ Galatians 6:9

Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do... ~ Ephesians 6:7-8

Keeping first things first,

Splish, Splash

• We have had guests all week (some of Ricky's family) that just left before the hurricane comes! We are way overloaded with cleaning, laundry, packing to move in five days, and preparing for the hurricane, all while awaiting the birth of our second niece (her due date was this past Monday)... This will be short! Here is Aolani at the beach and playing bumper cars in a bin ;)

• I have no idea if/when/how long power will be out and then when we move, I do not know when our Internet service will be up and running... so we'll see when I'm back!
• Verse to memorize this week: Psalm 27:8 ~ My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.” And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”

Trading or Laying Down?

There is an upbeat song, which I like very much, often sung in churches called Trading My Sorrows. The first verse reads:

I'm trading my sorrow.
I'm trading my shame.
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord.

Anyway, I recently discovered that this song has confused my understanding without me even realizing it!

How so? I had naturally assumed that the interchange of words here, trading and laying down, must mean that these words/phrases were synonymous. Huh? I had accepted that trading must mean laying down.

Not true. They do not mean the same thing!

When I go before the LORD and enter into His presence, I have a tendency to lay down my stresses (worries, pain, problems, shortcomings, sadness, etc.) "outside the door" to go "inside" to celebrate Him and pick up what He is offering (joy, peace, tenderness, help, guidance, love, etc.). Then, when I must attend to other matters (leave this inner sanctuary), I pick back up the mess I laid down "outside the door" as I am leaving! That might be laying down, but that is definitely not trading.

I don't think the LORD wants us to lay anything down just to be picked back up! Instead, He wants to trade -- this for that.

Beauty for ashes.
Forgiveness for bitterness.
Understanding for anger.
Love for hatred.
Peace for confusion.
Joy for sorrow.

Basically, we have nothing worthwhile to offer (except ourselves, which are of value in His sight for we have been made in His image). All I ever have to give my LORD is marred by wickedness, selfishness, and evil. Yet, all He offers to give us is good. He is not only willing to take it but asks us to give Him our bad and offers us good in return. Now that's a trade! In fact, it is too marvelous for words. I give Him a heart of stone, and He gives me a heart of flesh. Only tears can express this poor girl's heartfelt gratitude.

Trading it all,

Going Under (and Over)

• Aolani is 1 1/2 today. We are in disbelief!
• Aolani's antics: twirling with coasters on her head, dancing while eating pizza at restaurants and entertaining the other diners, blowing kisses (although she hasn't quite mastered the blowing part!), getting embarrassed when she does something wrong by running to one of us and burying her head in us, sneaking out of the restroom stall by crawling underneath the door in order to go see the other pottiers (OH MY!)...

• While our house-hunting story is quite long and truly deserves to be told in entirety, I do not have the energy or time right now. Bottom line: After 9 days of searching quite desperately and thoroughly, we finally found the place where we are to live. It is a duplex apartment -- much smaller than our current condo, cheaper, and sufficient for us! Suffice it to say that finding a place to live should be easy enough for an able-bodied person, but it was very challenging to find a place that we could make work for our situation. Yet, we were confident that God had prepared a place for us, and He revealed it all in His perfect timing (aka last minute, to us humans). We are so grateful to finally be home -- especially Aolani, who now hates her car seat and puts up a good fight whenever we head towards our minivan. Poor girl :(

• Did I ever mention how much Aolani hates diaper changes? People would always tell me that a baby hates a dirty diaper and that the child would come to you when their diaper was dirty because they wanted you to change it. Aolani would live in a poopy diaper. When it's time for a diaper change, she screams and cries and wails and fights. Oh, the injustice of having to lay here on my back when I got places to go and people to see! I'm just hoping that Micaiah is textbook in this respect ;)

• Micaiah is making his presence known as I am definitely getting a lot bigger!
• Verse to memorize this week: Ephesians 4:32 ~ Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Only by the Blood

"The temptation to so many of us when we try to approach God is to think that because God has been dealing with us -- because he has been taking steps to bring us into something more of himself and has been teaching us deeper lessons of the Cross -- he has thereby set before us new standards, and that only by attaining to these can we have a clear conscience before him. No! A clear conscience is never based upon our attainment; it can only be based on the work of the Lord Jesus in the shedding of his blood."

"We may be weak, but looking at our weakness will never make us strong. No trying to feel bad and doing penance will help us to be even a little holier. There is no help there, so let us be bold in our approach because of the Blood."

"Big sins, small sins, sins which may be very black and sins which appear to be not so black, sins which I think can be forgiven and sins which seem unforgivable, yes, all sins, conscious or unconscious, remembered or forgotten, are included in those words: 'every sin.' 'The blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from every sin,' (1 John 1:7) and it does so because in the first place it satisfies God."

*I am reading Watchman Nee, so do not be surprised if there are more quotes from him in the future ;)