Pushing...

...a baby out.

A few thoughts from Aidan:
I am definitely not a words person. Words of Affirmation is my LAST love language. I always did like the motto Actions speak louder than words. Therefore, I never really valued people telling me they believed in me, or any other nice common phrase (you know, like You are special.) However, I guess believing in someone must be an action, too, because I certainly felt it when someone did NOT believe in me (even though no one said, "I don't believe you can do it"). You see, with this disease (FA), I had no idea if I could seriously push a baby out. I mean I wanted to be able to, but ability and desire are not the same -- but might be a lot more closely related than even I realize.

I have good feeling "down there" but... I doubted myself. How could I not with the questions and comments I received from friends, family and strangers. Example: a good friend asked me if I was having a C-section -- EVERY TIME I SAW HER! I would tell her that I was aiming for a natural, vaginal delivery. She would look at me quizzically. I knew she was thinking Yeah, right but... or I don't want to be the one to burst your bubble but... But?? But you're in a wheelchair and can't walk. Obviously, people in wheelchairs aren't all paraplegics without vaginal feeling. The only people that thought I could do it were my doula and childbirth teacher (and of course my hubby). But I figured that I was paying them to say that and Ricky was obligated :) Most of the doctors I saw would give me the Aren't you being a bit ridiculous? look. Anyway, it's no wonder I had my share of doubts.

I have high pain tolerance and with the right preparation and knowledge, I thought I could endure the labor. Pushing the baby out? I had gotten to the point where I just didn't want to think about it. I'll deal with that when the time comes (actually, when Aolani comes). I was nervous -- maybe there was a little dread present also. When the time came to push, I didn't know what I was doing... bearing down... squeezing the biggest poop out EVER... listening to my body... following my instinct... GETTIN' THAT BABY OUT (my lingo)! Yet, when everyone there was shouting -- I see her head! She's coming! Look at her dark, curly hair! You're doing it! -- it was dizzying. I was first in disbelief, then relief flooded me, and finally I was exhilarated. I wanted to push again and keep pushing because whatever I was doing was working. I could do it! Yes, I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength I need (Phil. 4:13)!!!

Bottom line: believe in someone, tell them, show it in your eyes, and... be an encourager, not a discourager :)


p.s. That was cathartic. Thanks to whoever reads this.

p.s.s. I don't intend to be harsh or insult anyone. I understand people's hesistancy to think that I could push a baby out. I was hesistant myself. Point was that people chose to stand on the physical-reality (scientific; let's be realistic) side versus believing in the impossible (or at least unlikely). Sounds like a faith check to me... remember that all things are possible with God (Matt. 19:26)!

35 Weeks

Here's this week's ultrasound picture. It's very similar to the one from last week. She's already acting ornery like her mother. The tech really wanted her to move while she was on the screen, but she wouldn't budge amidst all the shaking and poking. She moved all that morning during breakfast, in the waiting room, and right after I got up from the table! Hehe. They usually want her to be still when she won't stop moving.

Also, I met with the anesthesiologist this past week. Gave him the few articles there are on how anesthesia reacts in people with FA. It was an uneventful meeting. Please pray with us that I will not need anesthesia!

Her movements have become uncomfortable. Gone are the "flutter" days. I had a notebook resting on my abdomen that I was reading while reclining this afternoon. A few jabs from her and the notebook fell off!

We just love our natural childbirth classes! We HIGHLY recommend that every pregnant woman take them. We had three more couples join, so now there are seven total.

Last night we met with our doula for the first time. It was such a blessed time. She has four kids (all natural births) and even birthed her last child in her tub at home with a midwife! I mentioned before that she was my sister-in-law's doula, but I didn't mention that (it turns out) she is the sister of a missionary couple we support in Italy! Definitely a "small world" situation. She helps me to feel so much stronger, safer, more secure, and more prepared. I certainly wouldn't attempt a natural childbirth without the support of a midwife or doula. I know she will be a pivotal asset for my labor support team. Here we are:

Note: Please remember to lift Haiti up in your prayers, especially that many would recognize Jesus as their ultimate need amidst such devastation!

34 Weeks (and Counting)

So, this one is kind of hard to figure out (took us awhile).

The picture is in the correct position for you to see straight on. It is a close up of her face (profile). You can see her forehead, nose, eye, upper lip and then her hand is in the way!

She weighed in at 5 lbs 2 oz (and I was hoping to give birth to a little baby). They said she had a great growth spurt, and she is incredibly healthy. She would constantly wiggle, even though she was in the correct birthing position.

Today a first occurred. I was stretched out on the couch, and my belly started moving (on the outside) like she was making little jabs all over. It was exciting!

We had our first natural childbirth class last weekend and loved it. The classes last for six weeks. There were four couples, including us. One couple is being surprised about the sex and the other two are having boys. They are all due 2-3 months after I am and probably think we're crazy for waiting so long to start class (it's complicated how that happened). We begin to meet with our doula next week.

Now, I have to begin to get ultrasounds every week and go to a million other appointments. I think all the doctors are really milking the situation since I'm labeled "high-risk." It's going to be very hectic for awhile with appointments for the medical world, our "natural childbirth" meetings, regular doctor appointments, and other meetings! Everyday is some appointment. There's even one day loaded with four appointments! If I was still at work, there would be no way I could muster the energy for all these appointments!

Staying home has been such a blessing for me. I am lying down several hours a day to rest. The swelling has gotten better, and the pain in my hips goes away when I stretch out. I feel better overall; all it took was some R & R. The sad part is that Ricky and I miss each other terribly being apart during the day. We had gotten spoiled enjoying each other all day.

Oh, and Aolani sends her love (and a kick).