Making Frantic Efforts

“If the enemy can’t make you sin, he’ll make you busy.” ~ Unknown

"He that believeth shall not make haste. There is plenty of time. You must not imagine that the result depends on you, or that a single human soul can be lost because you may fail. The question, as far as you are concerned, is whether you are to be honored in having a hand in the work that God is doing, and will do, whether you help him or not. Some will be honored: shall it be me? And this honor gained excludes no one: there is work, as there is bread in his house, enough and to spare. It shows no faith in God to make frantic efforts or frantic lamentations." ~ George MacDonald

Inconsistent with Myself

"God is not a belief to which you give your assent. God becomes a reality whom you know intimately, meet everyday, one whose strength becomes your strength, whose love, your love. Live this life of the presence of God long enough and when someone asks you, 'Do you believe there is a God?' you may find yourself answering, 'No, I do not believe there is a God. I know there is a God.'” ~ Ernest Boyer, Jr.

“My love of consistency with my own doctrinal views is not great enough to allow me knowingly to alter a single text of Scripture. I have great respect for orthodoxy, but my reverence for inspiration is far greater. I would sooner a hundred times over appear to be inconsistent with myself than be inconsistent with the word of God.” ~ Charles Spurgeon

Pushing...

...a baby out.

A few thoughts from Aidan:
I am definitely not a words person. Words of Affirmation is my LAST love language. I always did like the motto Actions speak louder than words. Therefore, I never really valued people telling me they believed in me, or any other nice common phrase (you know, like You are special.) However, I guess believing in someone must be an action, too, because I certainly felt it when someone did NOT believe in me (even though no one said, "I don't believe you can do it"). You see, with this disease (FA), I had no idea if I could seriously push a baby out. I mean I wanted to be able to, but ability and desire are not the same -- but might be a lot more closely related than even I realize.

I have good feeling "down there" but... I doubted myself. How could I not with the questions and comments I received from friends, family and strangers. Example: a good friend asked me if I was having a C-section -- EVERY TIME I SAW HER! I would tell her that I was aiming for a natural, vaginal delivery. She would look at me quizzically. I knew she was thinking Yeah, right but... or I don't want to be the one to burst your bubble but... But?? But you're in a wheelchair and can't walk. Obviously, people in wheelchairs aren't all paraplegics without vaginal feeling. The only people that thought I could do it were my doula and childbirth teacher (and of course my hubby). But I figured that I was paying them to say that and Ricky was obligated :) Most of the doctors I saw would give me the Aren't you being a bit ridiculous? look. Anyway, it's no wonder I had my share of doubts.

I have high pain tolerance and with the right preparation and knowledge, I thought I could endure the labor. Pushing the baby out? I had gotten to the point where I just didn't want to think about it. I'll deal with that when the time comes (actually, when Aolani comes). I was nervous -- maybe there was a little dread present also. When the time came to push, I didn't know what I was doing... bearing down... squeezing the biggest poop out EVER... listening to my body... following my instinct... GETTIN' THAT BABY OUT (my lingo)! Yet, when everyone there was shouting -- I see her head! She's coming! Look at her dark, curly hair! You're doing it! -- it was dizzying. I was first in disbelief, then relief flooded me, and finally I was exhilarated. I wanted to push again and keep pushing because whatever I was doing was working. I could do it! Yes, I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength I need (Phil. 4:13)!!!

Bottom line: believe in someone, tell them, show it in your eyes, and... be an encourager, not a discourager :)


p.s. That was cathartic. Thanks to whoever reads this.

p.s.s. I don't intend to be harsh or insult anyone. I understand people's hesistancy to think that I could push a baby out. I was hesistant myself. Point was that people chose to stand on the physical-reality (scientific; let's be realistic) side versus believing in the impossible (or at least unlikely). Sounds like a faith check to me... remember that all things are possible with God (Matt. 19:26)!