Comparison Kills Happiness

When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, “Lord, what about this man?” Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!” ~ John 21:18-22

I know I wrote about these verses years ago, but I probably mention this daily with my kids! Seriously. All day I hear But he or But she. It’s always comparison with each other or other kids — what they have or get to do.

My motherhood mantra for them and myself is You follow Me!

Summer Son Enjoyment

• First week of August: My mom took Micaiah home with her to spend his week alone with the grandparents; we loved on Aolani by letting her have a sleepover with her best friend, watching Ever After together, playing games and more; went to a pre-wedding reception picnic at a park; and, we had a breakfast, two lunches and a dinner with friends.
• Second week of August: We met my parents halfway to trade the big kids and let Aolani have her week alone with the grandparents; we loved on Micaiah by letting him have two play dates with his best friend, taking him and Raphael to the the movie theater for a family showing of the live action Lion King, playing games and more; Ricky took me out for a lunch date one day after we got something notarized; and, met my parents halfway again to get our girl!
• Third week of August: We went over to friends for dinner; attended a rehearsal dinner for a wedding that Aolani got to read 1 Corinthians 13 in the next day (she was so excited and did a beautiful job!); Micaiah had a play date one afternoon; had a cookout with some close friends; Ricky received some farm animal training to help out our friends and then he went kayaking again with his guys’ night group (not in the dark this time!); spent a day with my aunt and uncle and went to their pool; and, the kids and cooked meals for another family one afternoon :)
• Fourth week of August: We went to Charlotte for a few days and met with several friends; had a friend come over to babysit all day one day while Ricky took me to court to witness for a friend (but ended up not needing to), so we went on another lunch date; Ricky met a mentor for lunch; and, he took the big kids to play laser tag for their first time as a surprise for completing another school year:)
• Raphael's romps: U I have missed documenting so many milestones and notes here! He was really attached to Mama this month but usually it’s Dada; is learning his body parts; loves balls and is naturally athletic (started kicking on his own a while ago; and, really started to adore trains. He likes sleep a lot and will even run to his bed if he’s really tired!!

• School verses: Micaiah -- Proverbs 1:7 ; Aolani — Romans 8:28, 31
• Verses I memorized: 1 Peter 4:13-14, Psalm 103:1-2

How to Bear Fruit

Let your roots grow down deep into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.
Colossians 2:7

This verse lends itself to such beautiful imagery! I can just see a great tree with deep roots and a big, strong trunk. It’s flourishing with bright green leaves and...

Overflowing with fruit of course! ("Overflowing with thankfulness.")

When we give thanks, we bear fruit! 

And who doesn’t want to see the fruit of the Spirit in their lives?!

So, give thanks friends!

Fish in the Water

• First week of July: This month started off with a bang! We had a friend over for dinner; finally got a new car (savings and a loan and trade-in) after three visits and named our new black Dodge Caravan (2018) Ebony; had to take Micaiah to the doctor for Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever after a tick infection; visited our Romanian friends on Independence Day and went swimming in their pool; Ricky’s dad and fiancée Denise visited for a few days; Ricky and I attended a graduation party without kids; and, Micaiah had another freak accident and got a deep wooden splinter under his big toenail when he hit his foot with his sledgehammer! Poor boy had a rough week :(
• Second week of July: I got my bloodwork; Ricky’s mom visited for a week flying in from Washington state; she stayed in a hotel, and the big kids alternated spending the night with her; she babysat so Ricky and I could go to the movie theater; Aolani and I attended a bridal shower; the kids swam in the hotel pool several times; and, we all went to a kids’ birthday party and the movie theater.
• Third week of July: A friend visited overnight; Aolani woke one morning with a swollen face and eyes swollen shut (an allergic reaction to poison ivy); and, we shared several meals with friends.
• Fourth week of July: Ricky shared at our church; the kids began lessons, for the third year (they love them!); we met with friends several times for meals; the kids had a play date; we shared at a Guatemalan church; and, we crashed another church’s summer picnic ;)
• Fifth week of July: My mom visited this week; swim lessons continued and finished this week; a friend came over for dinner; and, Ricky went kayaking down the Catawba River with six other guys, which turned into an adventurous, epic trip (mostly due to nightfall)!
• There are several things that we that happen almost every (normal) week: family pizza/movie night, church, farmers market, flea market, small group gathering (biweekly), housecleaning lady helps (biweekly), a friend helps cook (weekly or biweekly depending), a friend helps some and brings her kids to play, grocery stores, and meeting with our Wycliffe coach (plus our daily routine tasks).
• Raphael's romps: I am still nursing him, but only before bed and when he wakes in the morning (this is the big one). I have mostly weaned him from other times of the day and night the past few months. Raphael will grab his diaper to tell me he pooped. He makes this loud dinosaur growl/wail when he is extremely upset or distraught. He points to clouds and calls them balls :)

• School verses: Micaiah -- Psalm 150, John 14:23 ; Aolani -- Matthew 16:24-25, Psalm 37:4-6
• Verses I memorized: Deuteronomy 32:2-4, 1 Peter 4:12

Growing with Your Children

Several times this past year, I have felt like I am at my wits’ end with the kids. I began to have suspicions that it had something to do with not adjusting my parenting as they grew older.

For four years straight, I would annually create new charts for chores, school schedule and consequences according to their personalities, struggles, and abilities. But the past two years have been such an upheaval, that I never got around to it and thought that it would be okay if I skipped a year. I missed it again at the beginning of the year. I was paying for it.

A few weeks ago Ricky watched the kids one day and let me regroup. I made three new charts for chores, screentime rules, and consequences. They have really helped bring me some order, relief, and peace. Kids need age-appropriate expectations.

I won’t be skipping next year!

Revolving Doors

• April: We had lots of guests, dinners and cookouts, taxes, our birthdays, annual cabin adventure with friends, and my mom coming to help us prepare for our 8-week trip around North Carolina (and a little into South Carolina, Virginia, Tennessee, and Kentucky).
• Ricky’s social media posts will have to do for our recent 8-week trip around North Carolina: Instagram and YouTube. I need to upload the pictures from Instagram of our trip because we took most of the pictures Ricky’s phone, which died during the trip.
• Last week of June: My mom helped us unpack and get settled; a friend watched the baby while we all went to see Aladdin; Ricky taught VBS at a local church; we had three other appointments and four parties, including a moving party as our church finally got to move into its building (after meeting in a high school for 18 years)!
• Raphael's romps: His vocabulary is beginning and growing! First words (not in order) — no, stop, don’t, wawa (water), nunna (he calls all food banana), mama, dada, whoa, duhdoh (all animals are dogdog),wats dat?, meme (Mommy’s milk supply), bawl (ball), buh (bug), book (but the ‘k’ is silent)...

• School verses: Micaiah -- Psalm 23:5-6, Joshua 1:9, Matthew 7:7, John 14:6, John 13:34, Philippians 2:14-15, Psalm 119:11 ; Aolani — Acts 17:25, Matthew 6:20-21, Matthew 6:31-34, Mark 12:30-31
• Verses I memorized: 2 Chronicles 7:14, Matthew 28:19-20, Rev 1:5-8, Isaiah 50:4-5, Titus 3:3-7
•  Trip quote log:

“Mommy, can I bring my whole Lego bin... my whole big Lego bin? Can I Mommy? Can I bring that?” Micaiah 

“Her face talks.” friend MJ, about Aolani. 

"Is this Florida?" Micaiah

"Mommy, I think me and Micaiah got Daddy’s silly genes and not your serious genes." Aolani 

"Daddy, I think I’m going to be a smart butt. I don’t know that I am, but I think I am." Micaiah

“All I heard in the car was [crunch] [crunch] [crunch] [crunch].” Aolani

“Mommy, do you know what day it is?” Micaiah “Is it the day I die?” Aidan (wishfully)

“That’s my daddy. He’s hilarious.” Aolani 

“You’re trying to make Alli [our friend] lose her brain.” Micaiah  

"Have you ever killed anyone, Ms. M?” Aolani 

“I’m becoming a night owl, but I don’t want to. I’m trying to stop.” Micaiah 

"Daddy, I know where everyone is going to sleep, okay? I got sleeping rituals." Aolani 

“I’m about as tall as collegers. People that go to school are short. People that do school at home are tall.” Micaiah

"I’m a good forest doctor." Aolani 

“I can’t wait till a robber comes to our house.” Micaiah

"Daddy, does bargain mean you don’t want to listen and you wanna throw up? That’s what Micaiah said." Aolani 

“Now I know it doesn’t take two people to lift those blueberries.” friend MB

“Every time I wake up in the morning and I watch TV, I don’t like it. I get lazy.” Micaiah 

"My real name is just too hard. You can call me Lizzy.” Aolani 

"I’m a grown-up boy, Daddy. I don’t like watching TV, I’m picking up, I'm obeying, and I get my sleep. Watching TV gets me bored." Micaiah 

"Did you get Micaiah’s diaper bag?" friend MB

“This guy—he’s a later.” Aolani 

"I love watching his little feet run." Micaiah 

"You mean, I can do that (kick someone in the nuts) when someone robs me? Aolani "Yeah." Daddy "I can’t wait until someone robs me." Aolani 

"You guys are such good parents." Micaiah 

"Mommy’s breath smells like strawberries. Your breath smells like a wrap with pickles that’s been overcooked." Aolani

"It’s just life, Daddy. It’s just life." Micaiah, on losing his thumbuster AGAIN 

"Places that end in 'world' are way better than places that end in 'land'." Aolani 

Being a missionary is hard.

Being a missionary is hard.

I know, I know. There are many ways it’s hard, and we haven’t even left for our first assignment yet! While I am aware of many difficulties that may come, this one caught me by surprise. (Granted, I may have been forewarned but didn’t think that I would be affected.)

 It requires a soft heart and tough skin!

To remain soft toward God and people...
To stay focused and joyful by how He is moving around the world...
To keep motivated to fulfill our task...

I think I hold relationships dear to my heart. For that reason, I am grieved when people don’t respond because I feel like the relationship is now severed. (I guess people would rather break the relationship instead of just telling us no we’re not going to partner?) Anyway, this saddens me way more than I thought it would, requiring tough skin!

To remain unmoved and steadfast when people make harsh comments or thoughtless criticisms...
To hold onto love when friends and family ignore us...
To not be sorrowful but peaceful when faced with silence and rejection...

These have been some of my prayers for myself and others in the same boat!

Upside-down Shaming

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 1 Corinthians 1:27

This verse has been such an encouragement to me lately! The handicap and disabled are about as weak as they come. Choosing one to be a missionary... sounds foolish to me! But, God's kingdom is aptly called the upside down kingdom. For this I am thankful!

In and Out, Up and Down, All Around

• First week of March: We had a normal week besides sharing briefly at our friends’ church and Ricky meeting with a few people.
• Second week of March: We attended a Guatemalan cultural dinner; met with more friends for meals; and, shared at the local Marshallese church (six hours service!)
• Third week of March: My mom visited for the week, and we went to Boone one day; met with several people; my parents enjoyed the big kids at their farm for a long weekend giving us an opportunity to go on a double date with some friends to a mystery-dinner theater at their church :)
• Fourth week of March: We had lots of meetings all weeklong; Ricky took me to the movie theater; went to a kid birthday party; our local pregnancy care center banquet; Aolani had a friend over for a play date and baked; and, we got to go to a friend’s 70th birthday celebration (60 people, half were kids!)
• Raphael's romps: He began taking only one nap a day; found his belly button, teeth and knees; has learned to bite, stack and high-five; loves to yell No! or Stop! or Don’t! at us; is especially ticklish under his neck and on his sides; nurses 4-5 times a day, mostly around sleeptime; and, perseveres when he gets frustrated!
• The big kids have been itching to learn some of our “adult” games, and we have now taught them to play four ;)

• School verses: Micaiah -- Psalm 23:2-4 ; Aolani -- Zephaniah 3:17, Psalm 46:10, Acts 17:24
• Verses I memorized: Isaiah 40:30-31, 1 Thessalonians 3:12-13

A Lent of No Numbers

I am not positive how I want to proceed with Lent in the future. (Remember that whatever you give up for Lent is just for six days. You are free to indulge on the Sabbath.)

This year, I decided to give up telling my family how many times I have already asked them to do something (i.e., For the fourth time, please pick that up!) and take up calmly repeating my request.

It’s simple and specific, which I like. But, here’s the rub.

By the time I get to repeating numbers, I am likely angry, frustrated, and grumbling in my heart (James 5:9). It’s likely a sinful response that I want to get rid of (Colossians 3:5-10). I want to make war and kill sin every day, not just six. So, I am probably picking the wrong thing to give up.

I realize that you don’t have to partake of your sacrifice on the seventh day or even once Lent is over, and you don’t have to follow legalistically some unbiblical “Lent law.” It’s just that I think I should give up something that is not sinful necessarily. Next year, I might change it up...

The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

• First week of February: My mom returned home with us to stay for a week and help us get unpacked somewhat; she babysat so we could go visit friends for the Super Bowl; a friend came over to cut our hair, mine too (I had a foot whacked off to donate to Children with Hair Loss— my ninth hair donation); and, we all went to the chiropractor and dentist.
• Second week of February: This was the week to reconnect and play with all of our friends — two sleepovers, small group, 2 play dates, a dinner with friends, and a lice invasion (we are pretty sure that we got it from a house in Georgia.)
• Third week of February: A friend comes over for game and pizza and movie; Ricky shares at church while I stay home with the two little boys with sinus infections; Aolani celebrates her ninth birthday by putting on a rose party for two neighbor girls (she even made her own cupcakes!); and, our friend briefly returned to comb out any remaining nits.
• Fourth week of February: We had a very relaxing visit with Ricky dad and brother and stayed home; the big kids hung out with friends all day after church while Ricky took me to a bridal shower in Black Mountain; we shared dinner twice with friends; Ricky gave Aolani her first tennis lesson (Ricky really wanted to start P.E. with the kids); and, Ricky took the boys to the doctor for non-emergencies (six weeks of hoarseness for the baby and a huge, stubborn plantar wart for Micaiah).
• Raphael's romps: He loves Ricky and calling out Dada for him; when he is done nursing, he will sit up in my lap and stretch his arms up to Aolani to get him; adores bananas; rubs everywhere; does sign language for milk; and, wakes up once or twice a night still :(
• We can really see God’s hand of protection on us during the trip now as we look back retrospectively. On the trip, we avoided bad illness requiring a doctor’s visit, emergencies, and contracting lice (even though we stayed at a house with lice). Yet within two weeks of being home, we take the boys to the doctor, Aolani has to go to Urgent Care for a deep gash needing a tetanus shot, all three males get sinus infections, and we all get... lice! (Lice is super annoying, requiring 20 hot loads of laundry, lots of combing and showers with lice shampoo, quarantining stuffed animals, and sleeping in shower caps twice a week apart...)

• School verses: Micaiah -- Isaiah 55:6-7, Proverbs 15:1, Psalm 23:1 ; Aolani -- Isaiah 26:3-4, Matthew 12:34
•  Verses I memorized: Jeremiah 17:9, 1 Corinthians 1:8-9, Isaiah 40:29

Our Intercessor

We spoke at an outdoor church last October. Despite the cold and rain (and lack of luxury), it was powerful. God was there, the Spirit was moving, and Jesus was elevated. Beautiful.

At the end of the service, a group was praying for us. It was a blessed time, and I didn’t want it to end. It made me sad to think that they were going to stop praying. Right after I thought that though, I heard Jesus say, “But I won’t stop praying for you.” Oh, what comfort to my soul! That reminder felt like a soothing balm. Thank you, Lord, for interceding for your people (Romans 8:27,34)!