WARNING: Long read!
I will be posting updates as I can on the blog as well as adding them to the page on this blog (so the whole journey is recorded all together in one place).
[Pre-healing journey timeline (2016-19), not detailed like the one below]
July 2019-August 2021: Come to learn, receive and agree with the truth about healing and all of Scripture in its entirety (!!!); begin renewing my mind to the truth that I am already healed (just need to work out my salvation from my spirit into my flesh); all the while storing up questions (for two years!) [This is the mental assent of the Truth. Old Covenant mindset versus New Covenant mindset]
September-October 2021: Gain mentor (who worked out her own healing) and begin asking my questions (who’s kind and patient enough to answer me and not give up on me); I begin to encounter several others who also chose (or are choosing) to work out their healing (1 Peter 2:24).
October 28: begin an “action plan” to enforce the healing I already have and Jesus already did and gave
November-December 2021: The Enemy exponentially ramps up and intensifies the spiritual attacks (so we know that I must be on the right track to make him start lashing out like a trapped raccoon and trying to get me to give up) [Detailed list: family witnessed and can verify]
January 2022: Progress begins! (I had reached a new physical low, after the last two months)
Transferred from the chair to the couch holding onto one hand
This past fall and winter, while seasonal illnesses went through the family, things to which Aidan has been susceptible in the past, she showed strength. She was the least affected adult from covid. And in the last bad viral cough, the kids got it bad, I got it a little, but she didn’t get it at all—even while eating sugar.
1/7 I turned over by myself twice during the night
Stopped taking Advil.
1/11 Two advances- Voice texting has improved and my right foot is turning outward less
1/12 I slept 6 hours straight last night! Sleeping well and waking much less often ever since.
1/13 Naturally needing both of the drugs less often throughout the day.
1/18-19 Kids got stomach bug and Ricky felt his body fighting it, but I never got it! (This has happened three times now! I use to get every sickness the kids got.)
1/20 I did 50 sit-ups in the wheelchair before lunch today! 10 at night before bed (I couldn’t do any the night before.)
1/21 53 sit-ups this morning
1/22 55; This past week, I've halfed the daytime amount of one of the drugs I currently take, have been able to stay up later and don't need to drink coffee everyday (the Enemy is losing his hold)
1/23 I get in the recliner for over four hours without twitching (unheard of), no twitching or drugs all day or before bed, nerves in legs begin vibrating nonstop that evening but not twitching so I don’t take the drugs (I have been taking them on an as needed basis this month). My legs start twitching some after lying down but not violently like normal just like muscle memory, so I take half of the normal of drugs after a couple hours in order to fall asleep. (THE SPIRIT OF AFFLICTION HAS GONE!!!! After 4.5 years of horrible torture!)
1/24 60; took less of both prescription drugs last night; able to wiggle toes a bit on left foot; trying to figure out what is happening and friend confirms that the affliction is indeed gone and body is adjusting (received Word while in prayer for me this morning without any contact with me); legs still vibrating and shaky nerves like a drug addict going through withdrawals. I tell Ricky about this.
1/25 70 sit-ups this morning; 2/3 of each drug last night and again tonight and none during the day
1/26 I tell my mentor, older kids and mom about the spirit of affliction fleeing; and, develop game plan for moving forward
1/27 74 sit-ups this morning; 2/3 of each drug last night and again tonight and none during the day
1/28 81; 1/2 of each drug again tonight and none during the day
1/29 82 crunches; 1/2 of each drug again tonight and none during the day; make “before" video and begin to publicize my healing journey to select individuals
1/30 1/3-1/2 of each drug again tonight and none during the day; research exercises for me to begin getting stronger so body can obey my commands
1/31 Drugs are down to 1/5&1/3 of the original amounts, only take at night (might be able to wean body off faster but going down at a medium speed since nerves in legs still vibrate during the day); begin practicing some exercises
2/1 Develop exercise plan
2/3 Wake after two hours with restless legs and rise soon after to fight (new and separate attack to cause fear); flees and legs calm that afternoon and sleep that night; refused to take drug during the day and "silence" the Enemy when he must leave!; body is beginning to obey a few of my commands; right leg locks up less often; and, three toes on right foot move just a smidge!
2/5-7 Attempt to go off drugs completely and sleeplessness and pain return (trying to wean too fast)
2/8-10 Slowly return to previous amount of drugs at night and none during the day; my core and arms are stronger from doing my current exercise plan twice a day; found a PT who does home visits and begin next week
2/13 Make milestone calendar (goals of what I hope to accomplish for each month)
2/14 PT assessment; falling over less often; spine is spinning more; knees try to lift a little on command (!); lifting up with arms and not twisting and falling over; right leg is lengthening some
2/16 Voice text is improving (1/3 correct)
2/22 Spiritual attack this morning. Took five hours of combat before fleeing- left me physically weak and exhausted and achy. A week of discouragement and feeling like I have lost most improvements before now.
*I know the enemy is feeding me lies that I’m not moving forward but getting worse in order to create fear and get me to give up. So, I press in and on, knowing that the way to advance in the natural is to first take ground in the spiritual.
*I am being cautious about who I tell about my healing journey right now because I want to bless small beginnings and protect myself from doubts or hesitancies or wrong theology.
2/24 Able to twist spine more; PT impressed with standing (with his help) and wants to reorder my goals. Sit on the edge of the bed by myself for two minutes! Stretching and exercising twice a day.
2/28 Lifting knees higher on command; horizontal marching has improved in speed and strength (just after several days); my breasts are evening out (spine curving less?); only one small bowel accident the past month (usually 4-6x/month)
*God has done the impossible (dealt with and removed the enemy). I fully believe that. So I put my faith into action and do the possible. (Hebrews 11:1, being sure and certain is taking action, NOT just waiting for God to do what He’s already done.)
*I have been living the I CAN'T and I DON'T lifestyle for over 20 years, so it's deep in me. That thinking has to be uprooted and go! My nerves have been degenerating a long time. Now, we wake them up (as Jesus did Lazarus) and turn the Titanic around, not quick or easy
3/3 PT pleased with progress; feeling stronger overall (trying to watch every word I speak to avoid giving Satan any footholds and my body permission to not be in perfect health [align with God’s Word])
3/6 Haven’t had a long-lasting spiritual attack in two weeks (yay!); leg relaxes on my command better; Some PT stretches and exercises are improving (Thigh clapping has improved; Able to bend forearm at wrist now; Can do the hand sliding sit-ups much more easily; Fingertip touches are more accurate; Able to lift ring finger on left hand off of table; Able to slide thumbs towards index finger without bending)
3/9 Handwriting is becoming more legible and I am able to sign my name again (it’s been about a year); handwriting progress in pictures
3/11 God has been giving and unveiling a vision for me, slowly over the last month. I think it'd be helpful to see it in pictures in addition to just writing it down with words. I have recruited a friend to draw it for me. So when the drawings are done, I’ll share both the pictures and the vision: HERE
3/14 Sat on bededge for 2&1/2 minutes (was 2)
3/20 Sat on bededge for 3&1/3 minutes (was 2.5); held breath for 35s (compared to 30s just days ago!)
3/22 Received an image-vision of me as a warrior wearing armor and forcefully advancing and moving forward behind my shield, extinguishing fiery darts (I am getting this one painted by my friend and will attach it when it’s done)
3/26 Able to bend left ankle up (could only point toes); unbuttoned my jean jacket; after falling over while sitting on toilet, able to push self off of the wall and restabilize
3/28 Able to write small enough to fit words on one line! handwriting progress in pictures
3/30 Ricky and I both notice that my trunk is stronger and more stabilized when doing normal stuff
3/31 Received an image-vision (this one was like a comic strip) is with only three scenes —
- A beautiful, strong two-story house surrounded by a dead lawn (dirt and patches of yellow-brown grass) that was filled with some tents and a bunch of junk (it looked gross).
- Me sticking my head out of a second-story window facing the backyard and yelling.
- Green grass begins growing and shooting out of the house and moving into the yard as I was shouting.
- The house is my spirit (built up by my faith on a firm foundation). The lawn is my body, which the enemy was illegally trespassing on and having a heyday in.
- The yard was vacant, so I must have already done my duty as a child of God and arrested and evicted the enemy. Since I was not commanding the enemy, I must have been decreeing truth and speaking to the lawn, my body.
- New life was growing and moving out into my body!
4/5 A little depression came, but I combatted it with the Word/Truth, and it left after half an hour (versus half a day!)
4/6 Held breath for 40s (was 35s)
4/8-4/18 Travel by car (trip) — Not much stretching or exercising or routine or quiet time when we travel 😔 (We drive somewhere new almost everyday!) I refused to increase the drug amounts despite experiencing much leg pain in car. Trunk stability improvement remained as I was less wobbly on different toilets.
4/21 PT today said that I regressed some, but what I see or feel doesn’t matter as the Truth remains (that I am healed by His stripe!); Able to slow and control the hand sliding sit-ups much better!
4/24 Yesterday I felt really strong in every way, and then last night was tough (pain, leg locking up, soreness) with it continuing for a couple hours after rising (compared to 2/3/22). We fought and it fled, but it was different. Although I felt the pain (and pain SUCKS), I was able to disconnect myself from it. It didn’t lead to panic, but I could easily remain steadfast as I fought (like a pillar in the water— not moved by the wind or the waves, pain or current limitations). [“I don’t care what I see or feel, I AM HEALED. It’s my birthright, and I am in blood covenant with the King!”] Pins and needles right now. Expectancy is rushing through me, but not the waiting kind. I know that it takes faith and action together for healing both to come and to stay. (Hebrews 11:1, being sure and certain is taking action, NOT just waiting for God to do what He’s already done.)
4/25 Able to lift knees just enough for them to get themselves off of the footstool (without me having to lift them up with my arms or slide/force them off)
4/28 Held breath for 45s (was 40s); thigh-clapping speed has increased
5/1 A 6-hr intense attack that continued for off and on for 13 more hours! One of the worst. Keep wondering when the enemy is going to give up. I know that he is just hanging on, trying to outlast me and hoping that I’ll give up first. (I am certain, determined, expectant and hopeful because my confidence is His faithfulness.)
5/3 Kids begin fighting off a sinus infection and I don’t get sick (with anything anymore!)
5/4 After traveling five days ago (bed at 3a) and the attack the next day, my body just now feels back to normal
5/5 I begin to pray in tongues every spare moment (that I’m not needed or around non-family) to hone my listening skills and gain more insight
5/6 Holy Spirit begins to reveal and expound and teach and help me a lot!! Although my physical body is showing minute visible changes, I realize that I am still experiencing much (spiritual) growth
*70% of the healed lose their healing because they aren’t prepared to fight the enemy when he attacks again and don’t know how to keep the healing should it return. So, I am thankful that I am learning how to stand firm now and, thus, be able to retain my complete, physical healing.
*I realize that I talk a lot about attacks and fighting and battles. I know I can rest in Him (and I do!) because He has already conquered and defeated the enemy! His Word is settled and it is done. Period. I’m simply enforcing this truth and my freedom here on earth. (Believers have the right and responsibility to bring and release the Kingdom of God on earth.) It is hard, but it is simple.
5/7 Transfer to theater seat (versus remaining in the wheelchair for 3+ hours) for the first time in years
5/8 Pushing self up in wheelchair to full extent of arms; When I lean forward, my legs can put themselves up on the footstool; Stabilizing trunk off of backrest has improved slightly; Punching accuracy has improved slightly
5/9 Didn’t have to wake Ricky up for help the previous two nights and I didn’t wake up in a lot of pain; however, I did last night. But this is still noteworthy for me!
5/14 6-hr exhausting attack
5/15 Forcibly reduce secondary drug by 1/2 the amount
5/16 Both ankles noticeably bend up and down on command (exciting!); necessary for walking
5/17 Another long attack
5/19 And yet another (so sore had to cancel PT today for the first time)
5/22 Completely stop taking the muscle relaxant drug
5/24 Another long attack (worn); tell two friends situation with drug and pain and attacks
5/25 Get more muscle relaxant but don’t take it (I got it to use as needed, not wanting to take it on a regular basis)
5/25-6/6 No more long-lasting attacks and no muscle relaxant! Only one drug now.
*When physical pain first shows, I must deal with it right away and not tolerate it because if I do, then I am agreeing with it, which both allows it to continue and gives the Enemy a foothold to use the pain for his evil purposes. But if I attack it right when it comes (I have an attack pain plan), it stops. (“Also I see pain as one of the enemies wiles to try to get us out of the Spirit and into the flesh, his territory.” -Josie, a friend)
5/26 PT said progress continues (still doing exercise plan daily)
5/29 Able to briefly hold self up by legs and ease down in wheelchair (legs getting stronger!)
5/30 Zero sleep last night. Worst attack I’ve ever had (20 hours). I know it’s because I publicized no more attacks- typical enemy strategy. So hard to fight when tired in bed, which is when it began. I took 3x the muscle relaxant of what I used to take to no effect!
5/31 Propped self up on elbows in bed once this morning (from lying on back position)
*I am not trying to get healed; I already am healed.
I am not trying to defeat the Enemy; he’s already defeated.
I am not trying to gain the victory; I already have the victory!
I AM ENFORCING.
*Like a policeman- he has all authority and every right to kick out enemies, stop illegal activity, and arrest criminals. But, he has take action (do something and use it!) for anything to happen. Having the authority doesn’t do any good unless he uses it. He must enforce!!
6/4 Body is sore in the hip/ab/back/core area from the muscles growing there (this past week); able to look around on stair-lift chair while it moves and not fall over or be fearful of loosing balance and toppling (haven’t done that in several years!)
6/6 I begin to take the previous amount of muscle relaxant again at night for several reasons— sleeping 4 hours each night was wearing, waking up in pain and rising to combat it to prevent the enemy from getting a foothold and attack me still took an hour every morning, but mainly because my vigor in fighting/enforcing was not as strong throughout the day (so I think that I will do it [wean off drug] again once my body gets a little stronger.) Of course there’s the temptation to feel defeated, but that’s a lie from the enemy because the Word tells me I am the victor! So, I take captive that lying thought and destroy it with Truth!
6/8 Make some adjustments/clarifications with PT regarding exercises and expectations concerning time
6/9 My faith and confidence are soaring- yay!! Beginning to notice and reject the innumerable lies that the enemy feeds me all day long- phew!
6/11 My legs can put themselves up on the footstool WITHOUT leaning forward (see 5/8), just gripping wheels in upright position
6/13 Haven’t had any bowel accidents in several months
6/16 Able to peel my own bananas; beginning to consistently buckle the seatbelt in the wheelchair myself
*I am learning why the Bible says so much about needing to persevere in the faith, persist in believing and doing the Word, not giving up, staying and standing strong, being confident and unwavering and immovable—having grit. The only way to lose is to quit!
**I did not know when to publicly share this. I thought that I would wait until the changes become noticeable or undeniable (just to avoid skepticism, doubts, questions, and… pressure! I don’t want to feel the pressure to perform and get results and get my focus off of Abba! And I currently don’t have any extra time to respond to emails, even if I wanted to reply). I opted to go ahead and divulge what has been happening with me, because I want others to glorify God with me for the advances and see this miracle unfold 🥰👏🏼🙌🏼 (6/18/22)